Dear Brother
by BelloftheSea
Summary: For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters. (Companion to ABNE)
1. February 2, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

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><p><strong>A.N. <strong>So… big question. Why am I posting this as a separate story? Well, mainly it's because of writing style. This story is written entirely as a series of letters, in first person, often stream-of-consciousness from Al's point of view. _ABNE_ is written in third person and switches POV several times in almost every chapter. At this point in _ABNE_, Ed is reading the letters written to him by Al, and so are you. I invite you all to read them as though you are Ed. Try to imagine what he is thinking while he reads. I _won't_ be covering Ed's thoughts on _everything_ in Chapter 23, so it's up to you to decide how he might react.

For those of you who have found this story but have not yet read _A Boy Named Ed_… well, it's up to you if you'd like to go back and read that one first (up to Chapter 22, that is). I'm not going to say you _have_ to read _ABNE_. Technically, these letters could be read independently of the main story. And technically, you don't _have _to read these letters to keep following _ABNE,_ although you'll be missing a lot of the how's and why's if you don't. The stories can be read separately but they are meant to go together. It's up to you how you want to do this. Actually, I'd be curious to hear the reaction of someone who reads all these letters _before_ going back to read _ABNE_. I wonder how that would change their perspective.

_Dear Brother_ will be updated once a day if I can manage it. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>February 2, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Happy Birthday._

_I can't believe it's been almost three months since the last time I saw you. Sometimes it feels like so much longer and other times… it's like I can barely keep up. So much has happened and I still feel so weak most of the time. I guess you don't really know about that though. Maybe I should back up a bit. _

_That's why I'm writing to you, even though I don't think I can send this. I'm so worried that I'll forget something I've been meaning to tell you. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. We were supposed to be together after we got our bodies back. But right now, I'm so far away and I haven't got a clue where you are or if you're okay. _

_I worry a lot. Dr. Marcoh says the stress isn't good for me but I can't help it. I need to know you're alright. The Truth said… he said you'd be alive, but that you'd be different. I don't know what he meant by that and I never got a chance to find out. It was so cold when I woke up. I didn't have any clothes and the wind was blowing hard. I could barely move because my muscles had atrophied so much while my body was at the gate. I tried to get to where I thought you were, but it was too far. I must've passed out. _

_When I woke up, I was on a train. Dr. Marcoh had found me. He was with that little girl from Xing – the one we were looking for. Her name is May Chang. And that little black and white cat is actually a panda bear named Shao May. May is really nice, even though she was working with Scar. Apparently, Scar helped her out a little while back and so she felt indebted to him and his Master Yoki. When they found me, they were traveling to help Dr. Marcoh get away from the homunculi and to find some notes Scar's brother had written which were supposed to help them stop the homunculi. I don't like Scar, because of what he's done and because he tried to kill you, and I can't forgive him, but for right now at least… I think we're on the same team. We have a common enemy and so we have to work together. _

_I'm getting ahead of myself again. We went up north, near the mountains. I wanted to go back to Central and look for you. But I was sort of stuck. I kept getting sick because my immune system was so weak. Dr. Marcoh and May took good care of me. But I couldn't do much for myself at all. I could barely move. I suggested that they leave me at a hospital and from there I could call Colonel Mustang and get transferred to a hospital in Central. Dr. Marcoh reminded me how dangerous that would be. _

_The homunculi are still out there. They have Colonel Mustang under their thumb and they'll do anything to get what they want. I don't think they can use me anymore, since I can't do alchemy. But that doesn't mean they can't use me to control you, and with how weak I am right now… I can't fight back. _

_I'm sorry, Brother, but I have to stay away to protect you. I can't let them use me against you. I'm sure you're just as worried about me as I am about you but I promise I'll find a way to come back to you as soon as it's safe – maybe when I'm a little stronger. _

_It's taking forever though. Two months… almost three now. I miss you, Brother. We get further and further away every day. _

_We're on our way to Xing now. We hid out in the mountains for a little while after we met up with Scar and Yoki. I don't think Yoki is really Scar's master. He's that embezzling former Lieutenant we dealt with in Youswell – remember? It seems like so long ago now, back when we first got started. _

_Scar and Dr. Marcoh spent a lot of time looking through Scar's brother's notes. I tried to help a little, but I can't read Ishvallan and the alchemy symbols were different. May says they're not quite like alkahestry either. We think it's something like a mix of the two. I'm not really sure how that works though. _

_More often, I was just sleeping or doing simple exercises to strengthen my muscles. It's so frustrating. It wouldn't be so bad if we were home in Resembool and didn't have to worry about homunculi or corrupt militaries. I'd be more patient if I knew you were safe – if we were together. For now, I keep pushing myself harder because the sooner I get better, the sooner I can find you again._

_In the end, we decided it would be best to get Dr. Marcoh and me out of the country. The homunculi were still looking for us and they sent that Kimblee guy after Scar. If I only had the strength, I swear I'd take Kimblee on myself for what he did to you. But I can't fight anymore, so I'm running away with the others. I feel like a coward but I know it's for the best, for now. _

_Before we left Amestris, we heard a rumor that Fuhrer Bradley had been assassinated. If that's true – what does it mean? Are the homunculi gone? Will it be safe soon? I hope so. _

_Camel's are smelly. I remember you said they were smelly when you went to Xerses to see Lieutenant Ross, but I wouldn't have known then. I can smell so much now and yet there are times when I wish I couldn't. I won't take it for granted though. I won't take anything for granted in this body, as weak as it is right now. I'll be strong again soon. I'll keep moving forward. _

_My hand hurts… it's hard to write for so long. My handwriting looks almost as bad as yours. Dr. Marcoh says I need to stop for now and get some more sleep. We traveled far today and have further to go tomorrow. I'll write again soon. I promise._

_-Al_


	2. February 19, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

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><p><strong>A.N. <strong> I'm going with the assumption that a lot of people in Xing know at least a little Amestrian – this based on the fact that May, Ling, Lan Fan, and Fu are all fluent. And don't worry – Al will explain what happened soon.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>February 19, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_We made it to Xing – about a week ago now but this is the first bit of downtime I've had when I'm not completely exhausted. I thought traveling was hard but it seems that sight-seeing takes more out of me. There is so much to see here though and it's nice to be out and about after hiding for so long._

_Xing is beautiful and so warm. The mountains were frigid and the desert was too hot during the day and freezing at night. Xing reminds me of springtime in Resembool back when we were younger. _

_It's so colorful here – not just the land either. The people, the clothes, even the food is colorful. The food! Brother, the food here is amazing! I was so disappointed when the first thing I got to eat was a cracker from Dr. Marcoh's travel pack. I wanted pie or stew or quiche – something good! But it's just as well I suppose since I couldn't keep the cracker down anyway. Dr. Marcoh said that was to be expected since my stomach wasn't used to food anymore and I'd have to go really slow for awhile. So I did._

_But we've been eating nothing but travel rations for months now, which wasn't going a long way towards building up my strength, but it was all we had. I think the best thing I ate before we got to Xing was an apple which May was able to buy from a market we passed on our way to the border. The rest of us couldn't risk going out in public – well Yoki could, I guess. No one is looking for him in particular. But he's so whiney most of the time, we don't really ask him to do anything._

_The apple was delicious and juicy but it was nothing compared to the food in Xing. There are so many wonderful smells and tastes. Some of it is familiar, like fruit and meat, but a lot of the flavors are brand new. I'm really enjoying the experience. Someday, you and I will have to come back here together so that you can try it too._

_We're staying with May's family – the Chang Clan. They are very welcoming and hospitable. The moment I walked into the house – which isn't so much a house as it is a small compound filled with gardens and courtyards and rooms made of rice paper walls – anyway, the moment I got there, this little old woman who reminds me of Granny Pinako, but shorter and louder if you can believe it, declared that I was "too skinny" and started bringing me trays filled with food. I've been eating almost non-stop since I got here. Even now, I have a plate of cheese and fruit in front of me and if I don't take a bite every few minutes I am forcefully reminded to "eat more food" because I'm "still too skinny." You'd think they were fattening me up for the slaughter or something. I may actually end up getting fat before I leave here, Brother. We'll have to spar twice a day to work off the extra pounds._

_Are you eating well, Brother? I won't fool myself into thinking that you're actually drinking your milk but I hope you're at least remembering to eat some fruits and vegetables._

_We don't get a lot of news from Amestris out here but one thing has been circulating about which concerns me. They say that Amestris is blaming Xing for the assassination of Fuhrer Bradley. I've been getting a lot of funny looks from people in the town – because I'm Amestrian, I suppose – but the Chang family has promised their protection so I'm not worried about my own safety. I'm just confused._

_Xing has no reason to attack Amestris. They have their own problems right now trying to figure out the succession of the emperor. May is worried. If Amestris declares war against Xing, the clans will suffer. The current emperor has been known to force citizens into military service during war times and the lesser clans are always the first to be conscripted. _

_What's going on over there, Brother? Is there actually talk of war? Do we have a new Fuhrer yet? I wonder if Colonel Mustang decided to go ahead with his push towards the top. Are the homunculi still running things or have we managed to retake control of the country? Do you think we can stop them? I have so many questions… I guess you can't really answer them right now, can you?_

_There is talk that the boarders will be closed. If they are – who knows when I'll be able to come home. That kind of talk makes me want to go back now, but I'd never be able to make the trip by myself. Maybe I should have just stayed behind in Amestris – but then I'd still be hiding somewhere and I wouldn't have anyone to help me. I hope they don't close the boarder. Maybe it's just talk. _

_I hope you're not too worried about me. I hope you know that I'm safe. I hope I'll be able to come home soon. I wonder if Mrs. Hughes will make me that quiche you liked so much._

_-Al_


	3. March 7, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

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><p><strong>A.N.<strong> A short letter… I have the next one finished. Should I post it today or wait and keep to my once a day updates? Decisions, decisions…

Also, formatting on ff. net is so limited. I wanted to have something crossed out but that's not an option. I had to underline it instead but that doesn't give the same effect. Oh well - you'll probably get the idea when you read that part.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>March 7, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_They closed the boarder!_

_I was so angry when I found out. No – I'm still angry. I knew it might happen but I had really hoped that it wouldn't. I had hoped we would have more time. I'm not strong enough yet. I can't fight. I can't even run. I couldn't have gone back before if I'd wanted to – which I did. I always did. I just had to get stronger first. But now… going back isn't even an option anymore! I'm stuck here!_

_It's so frustrating! So… argh! I can't even write properly! _

_Not that it matters. I can't send you these letters anyway. They're completely useless! All of this is useless! _

_I want to go home, Brother. I don't want to be here anymore. I can't do anything. I can't help you. I can't help anyone._

_I was better off when I was still in the armor._

_No… I didn't mean that. _

_I'm sorry. This body, as weak as it is right now… I can't regret it. I can't regret what you did for me. I'm sorry. I won't take it for granted, Brother. You gave up your life to get my body back – the last of your strength to make sure I would be okay. I can't ever take that for granted. _

_I'm sorry._

_Brother… do you even know? Do you know that it worked? You saved me, Brother. You got my body back. _

_You don't know, do you? You don't know at all because I wasn't there for you when you woke up. Dr. Marcoh didn't know you were there. He only found me by happenstance. He didn't know you were there too and by the time I woke up we were too far away to go back. You must've have been all alone and confused._

_You thought you were dead. You thought you gave your life up to save me. When you woke up… I wasn't there to explain. You must think I'm dead! That I turned it around somehow and traded my life for yours. No! No, that's not how it happened. _

_You must hate me. _

_I'm so stupid. I've messed everything up. Even when I thought I'd fixed things, I still..._

_It's my fault. It's all my own stupid fault. If I had just listened. If I had stayed and not gone to the train yard, then none of this would have happened. We'd be together still. We'd both be okay. I don't even know for sure that you are okay! I'm running on an assumption that you are because the Truth said you'd be alive. Alive, but different – what does that even mean?!_

_I'm such an idiot, Brother. If I hadn't been so stupid then everything would be alright. You never would have gotten shot. You never would have died!_

_It's all my fault._

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry…_


	4. March 8, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

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><p><strong>A.N.<strong> This is me being nice –two letters in one day. The last one was short though. This one is long.

So, I didn't want to have to actually _write_ Kimblee's character. Thank you Al for letting me use your point of view on this. Finally, here are the answers to all of the questions you've been asking.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>March 8, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I realized some things yesterday. I realized... but I was too upset to keep writing. I'm better now, at least, as much as I can be. I'm still angry at myself for my own stupidity but I realize that there is nothing that I can do to change the past. I have to keep moving forward and part of moving forward involves getting this all off my chest. _

_I haven't told anyone exactly what happened that night. It's not really any of their business. It's just between you and me. But you aren't here so I can't actually talk to you. I can only write these letters which you may or may not ever read. Someday… I hope you will someday, because if you can read these letters, that will mean we're together again and you know I'm alive and you've forgiven me for being such an idiot. _

_Anyway, what I realized was that you probably have no idea what really happened that night. Everything went down so quickly and between dying and coming back – I doubt your memory is all that clear. Even if it is, you don't know my side of the story anymore than I do yours. _

_I need to get it all out anyway, because it's just going to eat me up inside if I don't. I'm not sure that I'll ever completely forgive myself for what I caused, but I can't let my guilt keep me from trying to find a way back to you. And I will find a way, Brother. I promise._

_For now… let's go back to that night._

_You left me at the library, to keep researching while you met with the Colonel. He didn't say why he needed you; just that you were to come as soon as possible. For a while, I was content to wait for your return. But as the hour grew later, I started to worry. _

_I went to the Colonel's office to ask him where you were. He would only tell me that you were on an undercover mission and would be back in the morning. I didn't like that. You have a habit of getting into trouble when I'm not with you – and even sometimes when I am. But the Colonel refused to tell me where you'd gone. He said you were safe, that you were just observing and wouldn't be in any danger. _

_I should have trusted him – trusted you. But I didn't and that was my first mistake. _

_I managed to track down a cab driver who said he'd given a ride to someone matching your description. His information led me to the train depot in the warehouse district. I remember thinking that was a weird place for a mission – especially with everything going on at the time. I thought maybe it was a drug bust or an illegal weapons ring and that I'd find you snooping around in a warehouse somewhere ready to burst in with your usual flare – despite Mustang's insistence that you were only supposed to be observing. _

_But the depot was quiet. Too quiet really. I didn't see you anywhere. I was just starting to think that I had the wrong place when I finally saw someone. It wasn't you. I could tell that right away, even in the dark. He was too tall – tall and skinny, wearing a white suit and a hat. He smiled at me, but there was something evil about that smile. It was really creepy._

_He asked who I was and what I was doing there. I didn't want to give him too much information but I did say that I was looking for my brother. I hoped that maybe he was nicer than he looked and would tell me if he'd seen you. That was my second mistake. You've always told me that I'm too trusting. I guess I really learned my lesson this time. _

_He said he hadn't seen anyone else but he asked me again who I was so I turned the question around on him. He didn't hesitate to tell me his name. Solf J. Kimblee. The Crimson Alchemist. I don't think I'll ever forget it. _

_I think that's when I realized that he was the one you were supposed to be observing which meant that you had to be somewhere close by and that I had just blown your cover. I guess you can see why I'm such an idiot now. _

_I told Kimblee that I needed to get going – that my brother must be somewhere else – but I could already tell that he wasn't about to let me leave. He was stalking me, like a hunter stalking its prey. He kept asking me questions – about my armor mostly. The look in his eyes – it was like he wanted to take me apart just to see what I looked like on the inside. It gives me the creeps just thinking about it. _

_I'm not sure how he figured it out, but eventually he got this wicked glint in his eye and said that he knew. He knew what I was and what I'd done. And then he pulled something out of his pocket. He asked if I knew what it was._

_I did._

_The moment I saw it, I knew. It was a Philosopher's Stone – too perfect to be a fake. I don't know where he got it but I could tell he didn't intend to use it for anything good. I played dumb – like I didn't have a clue what it was – but I think he saw through my lie. He asked me if I wanted it. It was like some sort of game or test – like he just wanted to see what I'd do, if I'd take it. _

_I said no._

_He just started laughing, like it was some big joke. He said I hadn't seen what it could do._

_And then he rushed me. _

_That's when you showed up. You must've been watching from somewhere nearby. You must've been so mad at me for coming there. You stood between me and Kimblee and you told me to get out of there. I could hear the anger in your voice._

_I should have listened. If I had, maybe you would've found a way to escape as well. But I refused to leave. It was too late by then, I think. We were already in trouble._

_Kimblee thought it was "cute" that we were both trying to shield each other, as though that wasn't what any brothers would do. He kept talking - analyzing us. He wanted to know how far we would go to protect each other. He said he would have to test it – like he was a scientist and we were some kind of experiment. _

_I guess you got tired of all the talking then because you told him to shut up and then the real fight began. Kimblee was fast. Neither of us could land a hit on him. He seemed surprised by our skill though. I don't think he knew who we were. _

_You seemed to know more about Kimblee than I did. I certainly didn't know what he could do. I had noticed the transmutation circles on his palms but I hadn't gotten a close enough look to even make a guess at what they did. So when he attacked… I was completely surprised. _

_Explosions – big ones. The ground shook and I could barely keep my balance. You told me to run – to not let him touch me. Suddenly, I understood why you hadn't wanted me there. There isn't much that could hurt me in the armor. Even if I lost an arm or a leg, you could just fix it with alchemy – we'd certainly done it before. But an explosion could destroy my blood seal. _

_You kept yourself between me and Kimblee as much as possible. But he had the Philosopher's Stone still. I saw it in his hand when he reached for you. And I knew that one touch could kill you. _

_I pushed you away._

_I grabbed his hand. _

_The explosion was red and it must've sent me flying. _

_I heard you scream my name._

_My blood seal – it wasn't destroyed, but most of the rest of my body was. _

_You were furious. But I knew that wouldn't last long if you thought I was dead. I called out to you to let you know I was still there. I don't know if you heard me or not. You were still fighting with Kimblee and you were moving the fight farther and farther away. I think you were trying to keep him away from me. _

_You moved out of my range of sight. Eventually I could only locate the fight by listening for the sounds of explosions. Then it grew completely quiet. _

_I waited._

_I didn't know what to think. Minutes past and then… _

_The gunshot. _

_I think I must've screamed for you but it was drowned out in the noise of a train passing by. _

_And then…it was white. _

_I was at the Gate. I had no idea how I got there, at first, but my body was there – waiting for me. Then I turned around and saw you. You didn't have to say anything. Just the look on your face explained it all. _

_You had brought me there. You reached out and pulled my soul to that place with you so that you could reunite me with my body and send me home – in exchange for whatever was left of your life. The Truth had already agreed. You were just waiting for me._

_I argued. I begged. I screamed. I didn't want to back without you. That wasn't how it was supposed to happen. But you'd already accepted it._

"_I'm dying, Al." Just like that. You just said it. And then… "Please let me do this. Please, Brother."_

_You never call me Brother. That's my thing! You're not allowed to just say it like that, when I'm about to lose you!_

_Okay, so I'm a little mad at you for that. But I know why you did it. If it was the last thing I could do – I would want to save you too. But only if it was the last thing. If there was any other way… we promised, Brother. We promised to keep living. And I knew then that you wouldn't be asking if you didn't know for sure that you were going to die – that it was already too late. _

_How could I say no?_

_How could I not grant you that final request? How could I not let you fulfill your promise to me? Even if it was my fault that you were dying. It wasn't…_

_Sorry… it's hard to write this. The words are all smudged._

_It wasn't supposed to be this way, Brother. _

_That's why. _

_That's why I stayed. After I agreed and you were gone and I was back in my own body, I stayed there – at the Gate. I'm not sure how long. I must've stared at it forever. I don't know what I was thinking exactly. I just knew that I couldn't go back without you_

_It's hard to explain how I figured it out. It just hit me suddenly. _

_We're alchemists. We were supposed to have such great power and do amazing things. We once thought that we could do anything – even bring back the dead. That's what started this whole mess – our own arrogance. _

_I looked at my Gate. The Truth had told me that I could go, but he hadn't forced me out. Maybe he was waiting for me to figure it out – I don't know. But as I stood there, staring at those great doors, I realized that I didn't want it. I didn't want all of that power. What good had it brought me? Brought us? In the end, we weren't any more powerful than anyone else in the world. We were humans – puny, insignificant humans who couldn't even save a little girl. _

_I didn't want it. I didn't need it. _

_I just wanted my brother back._

_But you can't bring back the dead, right?_

_Only… you weren't dead – not really. _

_You'd given your soul and body to the Truth before you'd actually died, which meant you were still there and I could still bring you back, if I only had something of great enough value to exchange. _

_I couldn't give my own life – you would never accept that. You'd hate me for it because we promised to live and this wasn't a last thing. It's possible that you hate me now because you might think that's what I did. But when I find you again and when you read this letter, you'll understand. _

_I didn't offer my life in exchange. _

_I offered my Gate. _

_It was so simple. It was easy, really._

_The Truth asked me if I was sure, but I didn't have to think twice._

_Who needs alchemy when I've got you?_

_I guess that was the right answer. _

_Before I left, the Truth told me one thing. He said that he'd have to accommodate for the damages done to your body. He said that you come back and that you'd be alive and well, but that you'd be different. _

_I still don't know what he meant by that. I hope it's nothing too weird – maybe you're just even shorter now. If that's the case, well… I apologize. At least you're alive._

_There is one more thing I haven't mentioned yet. _

_I have the Philosopher's Stone. _

_Kimblee must've dropped it when he destroyed my armor because I found it near where I woke up. I kept it with me while I was trying to find you and I guess I was able to hold onto it when I passed out and Dr. Marcoh and May moved me onto the train. I don't think they know I have it. If they do, they haven't said anything. _

_I'm not sure what to do with it. All those human souls – they can't stay trapped in there forever. But the only way I can think to release them is to use it. I can't bring myself to do that though._

_May said that she was looking for a Stone so she could save her clan, but I get the feeling that the emperor of Xing would only use it for personal gain. Dr. Marcoh was using a stone to help people. Maybe I should give it to him and let him continue that mission. I'm not sure though. For now, I'm just going to hold onto it. Maybe when I see you again, you can help me decide._

_I feel a lot better now, after writing all of this. I guess I just had to remind myself that things turned out alright in the end – not perfect, but alright. Even if that whole mess was all my fault – we're both alive now and I got my body back. I'll apologize again when I see you. _

_It may be awhile, Brother – even longer than I'd thought before. But I will come home. And I'll keep writing to you in the meantime. I want to be able to share everything with you when I get back. Plus, this is kind of therapeutic in a way – like keeping a journal. Only this one is for you. I want you to read all of this and to know how sorry I am for my mistakes. I want you to be part of my life even while we're apart. _

_Be safe, Brother. I'll be home soon._

_-Al_


	5. March 25, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

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><p><strong>A.N.<strong> I hope that last chapter explained everything well enough. I actually did pull some ideas from the first anime when I developed this part of the plot, but my goal was to keep it as true to Brotherhood as possible. So no, Ed wasn't really dead, but he did "die" in a way and Al got a little stuck on that in his distress during the third letter.

As for Ed being "different" - well, I'll admit that when I first started this story I hadn't worked any of that out yet and this was the best plot I could come up with to make sense of Ed being turned into an infant. I tried a few other idea's but they required too many leaps and left too many plot holes. This is as close as I could get it. Why wasn't the Al's Gate enough to restore Ed as he was? Well, in exchange for the Gate, Truth could have simply sent Ed back as he was – with a bullet in his chest. He wouldn't have survived very long. Not only was he gravely wounded, but he'd already lost a lot of blood. So the Truth decided to be nice. He compensated for the loss of blood and for the injury by returning Ed as an infant. His memories were locked away until he reached an age at which he could handle them. Oh, and Kimblee didn't come back for the stone because he had to catch the train which is why he cut the game short and just shot Ed in the end. Kind of a cop-out for Kimblee – I know. The stone is sort of important later – okay, so it's just a plot whole filler but I was trying to fill as many as possible.

So there you go – it's not a perfect plot, but I tried my best. Honestly, when I started writing _ABNE_, I didn't think I'd get this far so you can thank yourselves for forcing me to come up with a plot that almost makes sense.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>March 25, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I've decided to try learning alkahestry. I say try because… well I'm not really sure it'll work. Alchemy doesn't work at all – I knew it wouldn't but I did attempt a few transmutations just to be sure. I assumed alkahestry would be the same but I've been talking it over with May and she seems to think that the two sciences aren't as closely related as we thought they were._

_We already knew that there was a separation between them because of what happened below Central, during our fight with that Father guy. May's alkahestry worked and so did Scar's, even though our alchemy was useless at the time. _

_Speaking of Scar – he left. I'm not sure where he went and, honestly, I don't find myself caring that much. I didn't really associate with him very often and he kept his distance from me. He spent most of his time with Dr. Marcoh, trying to decipher his brother's notes. But then, a couple of days ago, he just vanished. Maybe he tried to go back to Amestris. I suppose that if anyone could find a way to cross the border without being shot by the guards, it would be him – although I hate to think about what means he might use to do so._

_May and I have also talked about trying to cross the border. I obviously want to go home and May still wants to find the secret to immortality so that she can save her clan. I feel so guilty when she talks about that because I still have the stone hidden away. I've tried to explain how horrible the stone is. I've told her how it's made. She agrees that she could never make one herself but if she found one she would still use it to save her clan. It's her duty, she says. _

_Well… it's my duty to protect the stone I guess. It came to me so I have to make sure that it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. _

_As for going back – the border is too heavily guarded right now. It'd be too risky to try. Maybe in a few months they'll grow complacent and we'll be able to find a weak spot to sneak through. _

_In the meantime – I'm just trying to keep busy. I've spent the past few months focusing mostly on my body, on rebuilding my muscles and strength. Dr. Marcoh has been a big help. I've been his main focus whenever he wasn't working with Scar. It's been really slow but I'm finally at the point where I can do anything I used to do so long as it doesn't require a lot of strength. My dexterity and reflexes are great. But building up my muscle mass is going to take the most time and there isn't a lot I can do make it go any faster. I just have to keep eating and sleeping well and doing my exercises._

_I have a lot of free time though. I've been learning the Xingese language. A lot of the people here know some Amestrian but they aren't all as fluent as May. Communication was interesting those first few weeks but I'm getting better. The full immersion helps a lot. I have no choice but to learn the language. _

_But that's just the spoken language. I've been learning how to read and write in Xingese as well. They have a completely different writing system here, Brother. It's fascinating but really difficult. I'm enjoying the challenge. It will certainly make learning alkahestry easier since all of the books are written in Xingese._

_Right – back to alkahestry. May thinks I should be able to do it if I can learn to sense something called the Dragon's Pulse. She says it's the life force which runs through all living things and through the earth itself. That's all well and good, but I can't make heads or tails of how I'm supposed to sense it. She just keeps poking me in the forehead and telling me to concentrate. It doesn't make any sense!_

_Even if I do manage to sense it though – I'm not sure it will work. I told May about the Gate and she insisted that alkahestry doesn't have anything like that but then, most alchemists don't know about it either. Still there is a chance she's right and even if she's not, I still want to learn._

_I've thought about this a lot because at first I thought that learning alkahestry would be like cheating. I gave up my alchemy to save you. I said I didn't need it or want it – and I don't. I don't want the power. But I feel as though I have all of this useless information in my brain now. We spent our whole lives studying math and science, memorizing elements and equations and symbols and theories. I still know all of that – I just can't use it anymore. _

_But with alkahestry, I could use it. Not for myself – I won't ever use it for anything selfish. I want to help people. Alkahestry is primarily focused on medicine. That's what I want to learn. I want to use what I know to help people who are sick and injured. _

_And if it turns out that I can't do alkahestry, after all… well, I guess I could always become a professor of alchemic and alkahestric theory. Those who can't do – teach, right? That's hardly an accurate statement universally but I guess it would be true for me. I have to do something with my life after all. _

_It's weird not to have a singular goal anymore. For years now, we've just been trying to get our bodies back. We didn't think beyond that. Now though – my first goal is getting back to Amestris and finding you. After that… I've got to have something figured out, don't I?_

_What are you going to do, Brother? Will you stay in the military? You've said that you wouldn't – that we'd leave as soon as we got our bodies back. But I guess you're probably looking for me now so you'll stay in to use those resources until I get back. There are also the homunculi to think about now. We're kind of involved with that whether we like it or not. They'll probably come after us no matter where we go so it'd be best to help stop them before we cut our ties completely. _

_What then? Will we go back to Resembool? Will we get regular jobs and do regular things? Will you and Winry get married? _

_Sorry… I needed a laugh. Maybe someday though – you'll open up your eyes and see that she's been waiting for you. _

_We're getting older. We'll be adults soon and we need to start planning for the future. I have a lot of time to think about that here. When I get home, we'll talk and make some decisions. _

_-Al_


	6. April 17, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> A little theory here on the difference between alchemy and alkahestry. I hope it makes sense. I know things are going a bit slow right now, but they will be picking up soon. Al is still recovering and I don't want to push him too fast, but yes – he will have some exciting adventures in Xing and a few more thereafter before he settles down with the wife and kid. These letters will not all be boring. I promise.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>April 17, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I did it! I actually did it! I'm an alkahestrist!_

_Okay, so not really. Not yet anyway. I still have so much more to learn. But at least I know that I can now. _

_It all happened sort of quickly and yet it took forever to get there. I was just sitting there in one of the courtyards – because May says these funny rock gardens are good for promoting peace and concentration – and I was trying to focus like she told me to. I kept getting distracted though. First there was this pretty bird in a tree nearby. It was singing the most beautiful little tune. Then I noticed the smell of the dumplings wafting from the kitchen. You have got to try the dumplings, Brother. They are amazing. _

_I really was trying to focus – honest. _

_And then I saw this line of ants crawling across one of the stones in the garden. And I thought about you, Brother. I remembered that month we spent on Yock Island. I remembered how hungry we were and how frustrated we became over Teacher's riddle. All is one and one is all. Once we figured it out, it was so simple. We are all connected – the ants and the grass and the foxes and you and me. _

_And I thought – wouldn't it be nice to be able to touch that connection? To feel it and sense the presence of every living thing in the world? Wouldn't it be nice to touch the life force of someone important, even from very far away? _

_And then BAM! It hit me. Of course – the answer was the same. All is one and one is all. We are all connected and that connection is the Dragon's Pulse. _

_Once I knew what I was looking for, it was so obvious. _

_I started with myself. I focused on my own life force and on the little connections I made with the world around me, both physically and metaphysically. How did my presence in that one spot affect the world around me? And how did the world affect me? And little by little – or was it all at once? – I was able to sense the life energy flowing in and out of my own body and in and out of everything around me. It was all right there at my fingertips. _

_Of course, I lost it instantly when I stood up to go tell May. I was so excited, but I couldn't keep my focus when I was moving about. May says it'll get easier with practice and that soon I'll be able to sense things automatically, without even thinking about it. Right now, it's a bit of a process just getting to that point._

_Anyway, we started working with Purification Circles today. The drawing part is easy – I've had plenty of practice drawing Transmutation Circles and the most basic symbols are the same. I have to place the markers one by one though. I can't throw them yet the way that May can. _

_Anyway, it's a really basic transmutation – simply drawing water from the earth. The hardest part is learning how not to do anything. That's the biggest difference I guess – between alchemy and alkahestry. Alchemy is active. The alchemist makes something happen – deconstruction and reconstruction. But alkahestry is passive. It's more like… I'm not making things happen. I'm just guiding what already occurs naturally, growth and decay and movement – essentially speeding up the process by opening pathways for the chi, the life force, to flow through. _

_I still have to know the science behind what I'm working with – I have to know the elements I'm looking for and, more importantly, I have to know exactly what changes might actually occur naturally within those elements. Then I just… give it a little push or a pull and let it happen. _

_I guess that's why it works even without my Gate. The power isn't mine – it belongs to the world. Like maybe there is one giant Gate somewhere that is for the whole world to use – and that's what alkahestrists use. Then there are the personal gates which are for alchemy. _

_Does any of this make sense? It's just theories really. But what it all boils down to is that I can do alkahestry. _

_I have to focus – a lot. I have to concentrate on the flow of energy which connects all of us into one. And then I can feel the water in the soil. And just… call out to it and let it come to me. And it does. Just like that. _

_There is so much I can do with this, Brother. I may have years of study ahead of me, but I am going to be a medical alkahestrist. Just imagine encouraging a wound to heal or a fever to abate. Imagine drawing water from deep in the earth to make a new well for a desert town. But always – always for the good of the people. _

_This power is not mine and it is not for me. It belongs to the world and I must give it back to the world. _

_I can't wait to show you what I've learned and I can only imagine what discussions we'll have someday about all of this. Until then – be well._

_-Al _


	7. May 11, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

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><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Things are heating up in Xing. What do you think will happen next?

By the way – I've decided to use actual Chinese words for Xingese here – courtesy of Google translator. If something isn't right – blame Google. It won't be often and since Al is writing to Ed he'll translate any "Xingese" words for him. Also, I'm leaving out the accent marks just because I don't want to deal with them – I'm kind of lazy sometimes and I don't know all of the shortcuts for accent marks on Word.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>May 11, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm not sure how much news you all get in Amestris about what's going on in Xing, but things are really tense here. The emperor has been sick for a while now and everyone is pretty sure he's going to die soon. No one is really sure how old he is but I've heard everything between ninety- seven and one hundred and fifteen. But regardless of his actual age, it's not too surprising that he doesn't have much longer to live. _

_The problem is that he has yet to choose an heir. The clans are starting to fight amongst one another. It hasn't been too bad yet – just a few small riots in other provinces – but its escalating. And if the emperor dies without choosing in heir, it's almost guaranteed that there will be a civil war. Actually, war may be inevitable even if an heir is chosen. There is too much hatred and animosity between the clans. _

_So far, the Chang Clan has managed to stay out of the fighting – they know better. Chang doesn't have a lot of money or a powerful army. It's best to lay low for now. Of course, that won't stop the fighting from coming here once it starts. The history of wars in Xing shows a consistent land grab at the beginning – larger clans invading smaller ones and forcing the men into military service. The lands are usually plundered by the invading armies and the women and children are left to starve if they aren't all killed in the initial raid. The people here are worried and I don't blame them. The Chang Clan is not likely to survive if war comes here._

_May… May has been stressed. As the princess of the Chang Clan, it's her duty to protect her people. Without the secret to immortality, or the Philosopher's Stone, she doesn't have a bargaining chip to vie for power among the clans. Her best option is to try and form an alliance with one of the larger clans and hope for their protection. But that will still mean sacrificing the men of her Clan to serve as bullet fodder in the war. They are farmers – not soldiers. They will be put on the front lines where they will be the first to die. But at least the lands and the women and children might have a chance to survive if the allied clan follows through with their protection. It's a big if though and May has to make the choice whether to try an alliance or to let her clan stand alone. And if she chooses an alliance – then she has to choose the right one. Which clan can she trust to protect her people?_

_I don't envy her position. I don't really think it's fair either. She's just a girl – only thirteen years old. Who puts that kind of pressure on someone her age? I know you and I have been making adult decisions for years now – but we chose that life for ourselves when we decided to try and get our bodies back. And our decisions didn't affect the lives of other people – just us. May, though – I don't think she's ever had the chance to just be a kid. She's been trained since infancy to fight and use alkahestry and lead her people. She's always had this enormous burden on her shoulders and it's just not fair._

_And now I have an enormous burden too. The Stone feels heavy in my pocket. I know that I could just give it to her. It might not fix everything but maybe it could help at least give her a slight advantage in protecting her people. But then what would become of it? Who would she have to give it to in exchange for security? What would it be used for? How many horrors would be wrought using the power of the poor innocent souls within the Stone?_

_No. I can't let that happen. It hurts me to keep this from May – to know that I could ease some of her burden if only… if only doing so wouldn't be so wrong. Why did Stone come to me, Brother? Why am I the one responsible for deciding its future?_

_Anyway, with May so focused on the clan right now, I've been mostly studying alkahestry on my own. I've learned a lot but there is still so much. It's like those early days with alchemy – when we first opened the books in Dad's study and started teaching ourselves. We didn't really know where to start. I'm back to the basics in so many ways. Even with my foundation in science, I have to go back and look at everything from a new perspective._

_I have found an unexpected mentor though. His name… well it's not actually his name. I don't know his name, come to think of it. Everyone just calls him Lao, which I thought was sort of rude at first. Lao means old in Xingese and it didn't really seem right to call him that but I guess old age is considered an honor in Xing and the people here actually respect him a lot. I think he's May's grandfather, but I'm not even sure about that. _

_When I first met him – well I can't say I thought very much about him at first. He was just this old man lingering in the gardens. No one actually introduced us, but whenever anyone passed by they would bow to him and say Lao. He never said anything in return – didn't even acknowledge them really. I thought he was just an old man who wasn't really there anymore, you know?_

_Then, last week I was out practicing my meditation – the rock gardens really are peaceful, by the way – and at one point I opened my eyes and there was Lao, sitting right in front of me. I just about screamed but he shushed me firmly. When I tried to say something, he shushed me again. When I tried to get up and leave he glared. So we just sat there, for almost an hour I think. I tried to keep meditating but it was hard with him so close. _

_Finally, he spoke. "You are shoe-shong." he said. It took me a moment to realize that he was saying – well the Amestrian spelling of the word would be Xuesheng, I think. I'd have to look it up to get the characters right in Xingese and you wouldn't be able to read those anyway. But the word means student, so I guess he was referring to my study of alkahestry._

_I almost answered out loud but another glare made me nod instead. Then he told me that I was to study with him – in not so many words. He doesn't say much but what he does say is important I've found, even when it doesn't seem that way at first. _

_Actually, I seem to do a lot more talking than he does – when he's not shushing me, that is. Sometimes he just listens and then it's really easy to just tell him everything that's on my mind. I tell him my worries about you and about Winry and everyone else back home. I tell him how hard it is to see May suffering right now. I tell him about my plans for the future and my determination to only use alkahestry for good. He smiles when I talk about that so I think that maybe he is proud of me? Or impressed, maybe? It's hard to tell. _

_Today though – today I told him about the Stone. I didn't intend to. It just sort of came out. I needed to tell someone. It was too much to handle on my own and it's been eating me up inside for weeks. I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing. So I told him about the stone and about my dilemma and for like… ten seconds I was sure he'd run off and let everyone know and then I'd have no choice but to give it to May or else be hunted down by everyone in the province._

_But Master Lao just sat there for the longest time and said nothing. And then… he took my hand and held it really tight. He has a very strong grip for such an old man. And he said – _

"_Protect the Stone. Protect May."_

_I'm not… entirely sure what he meant by that. But I don't think he wants me to give May the Stone. I think he agrees with me. The Stone is best kept far away from those who would use it for harm._

_I wish you were here, Brother. I wish we could make these decisions together like we always have in the past. And I think you would like Master Lao a lot. _

_-Al_


	8. June 1, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Warning – this letter contains an implied, potentially controversial topic. It doesn't go into any great detail and you are free to think what you want but I will not apologize for any views, my own or Al's, which may be expressed. Flames on this topic will be deleted.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>June 1, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_My name is now Xuesheng – or shoe-song, as Dr. Marcoh calls me. He can't get the accent right. Apparently when Master Lao gives you a name, it sticks and everyone, at least in public, has to call me that. It's kind of silly really. I don't mind though. I'm still Alphonse in private and it's more of a title than a name I suppose. But if you start calling me shoe-song after reading this I might have to teach you a lesson – provided I'm strong enough by then. _

_My strength is rebuilding – slowly still, but steadily. I go on long walks every day and I've started some light sparring drills with one of the younger guards. His name is Po and he likes to hear stories about Amestris so it's sort of a trade – equivalent exchange. _

_My studies in alkahestry are going really well with Master Lao as my teacher. He's very different from Teacher. For one thing, he doesn't beat me up. He doesn't even move very much. When I go to see him each day, he usually just has a pile of books, sitting in front of him, which I am expected to read and then discuss with him. I think he must have someone else get the books for him because I've never seen him in the library. _

_Our "discussions" aren't really that either. I just tell him what I've learned and I have to judge by his looks and occasional grunts whether or not I've got it right. If he is displeased, I go back and read again until I've got it right. After that we move into more practical alkahestry lessons – most of which have been focused on moving water. I guess that makes sense for medical alkahestry since about sixty percent of the body is made up of water. _

_Reading is a process in and of itself. I can't just breeze through the books here like I can in Amestris. Reading Xingese is like reading a complicated code. I have to translate the whole thing before I can really understand it. Most of the time, I actually write out the entire translation and then go back and read my notes to make sure I've got it right. Some words have multiple meanings in Xingese so I often have to change my initial translation if I find that it doesn't make any sense in context. _

_With all of this writing, my hand strength has improved exponentially. I still get cramps sometimes though. But I learned a neat trick using alkahestry to improve the blood flow in my fingers when they start to ache. _

_Anyway, I wanted to tell you about today because I really don't want to forget any of it and I think you will understand my thought processes better than anyone else._

_Master Lao gave me a new book to read, which was nothing new, but I barely got through translating the first few pages before I realized what it was about and took it straight back to him. I was angry, you see. I couldn't understand why he'd given me such a book to read. _

_When I found Master Lao, I threw the book down and told him that I refused to read it. It was really rude of me now that I think back on it. I should probably go apologize. Later though. _

_Master Lao just looked up at me and he didn't have to say anything for me to know that he wanted my reason. So I told him._

_It's wrong. The whole book is wrong. Alkahestry is supposed to be about helping people but this book doesn't talk about saving life. It's about taking it. No – terminating. That's the word they use. They terminate life when they decide it's not wanted – too burdensome, too costly, imperfect, unplanned – any number of completely subjective reasons why one person might decide another person doesn't have the right to live. _

_How could they?! It's horrible, Brother. I never imagined that someone might do something like this – and call it science! Call it medicine! Life is so precious. How could anyone want to throw it away so easily? Have we really been so ignorant of the world that we didn't know this was going on? Is there any way to stop it from happening? I don't know. But one thing I do know is that I will never, NEVER participate in something like this._

_And that's what I told Master Lao. I didn't want anything to do with it. I couldn't believe that Master Lao would expect me to._

_Of course, he didn't._

_When I finished ranting to him, Master Lao spoke. He used more words than I have ever heard him say before combined. I wish I could have written it all down at the time because I can't remember it word for word now and I know I'll never get him to repeat it. But I'll try to record the gist of it here._

_He told me of time when the world was different – back when he was a boy I think, but he didn't specify. He said that, back then, doctors and alkahestrists alike were expected to take an oath – a promise to do no harm. Over time, however, that practice has faded and the medical field has turned to more and more selfish studies. Alkahestrists have forgotten their promise in the same way that many alchemists have forgotten. For the people – all people, not just the rich or the selfish or the lazy. We are supposed to take care of the ones who can't care for themselves and to defend against those who would do them harm. That's how it used to be and that's the way it should be now._

_I wanted to take the oath right then and there. I wanted to pledge myself to saving lives and promise to do no harm. Master Lao just smiled. Apparently the oath is reserved for those who have completed their training and I am still Xuesheng. But he said he'd take my word and hold me to it. _

_I sort of got the impression that if I hadn't responded so vehemently against the book and the horrors detailed within, Master Lao would have expelled me as his student. It was a test then, I suppose. And I passed. _

_But then Master Lao handed the book back to me and told me to keep reading. I started to argue but he glared at me and said, "Know your enemy." And I understood. If I am going to take a stand against these atrocities, I have to know what I'm fighting. _

_So right now I'm taking a break from reading that awful book. Each chapter is more exhausting than the last. It's like when we learned how the Philosopher's Stone was made – how tired and depressed we were. Well, this book is really depressing. I may need to eat a whole bowl of sweet dumplings just to feel better after this. _

_Actually… I could really go for an apple pie right about now. I don't think they know how to make those here though. I miss home. _

_-Al_


	9. June 30, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

**A.N.** How long will Al's journey be? Well, twelve years of course. How long will he be in Xing? Remember, Ed was three when Al saw him in Central. So… that long. I know that seems like a lot of letters but he won't be writing one/two letters a month for much longer. As things get busier in Xing, he won't have as much time to write so time will start moving faster soon. I want to get back to _ABNE _as much as you all do, but I also want to tell Al's story. He's been through a lot.

Anyway, that's two letters today. I love my days off. I may have another one written before I go to bed tonight.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

_**June 30, 1915**_

_Dear Brother,_

_The emperor died last night. It feels like the whole country is holding its breath. One week – for mourning. It's so still, silent, like the calm before the storm. Who knows what will happen next?_

_I don't really have anything to do in the meantime except to keep practicing my alkahestry. When it comes down to it, the only reason that any of this affects me is because I'm here. Were I still in Amestris, it would just be the latest headline in the newspaper. I probably wouldn't think too much about it just as you probably aren't thinking too much about it right now. You don't know I'm here, so why would you? Yes, it's upsetting to know that a lot of people may die and that the whole country is probably going to fall apart in the coming months – but what could two teenagers in Amestris do about it? _

_Except that I'm not in Amestris. I'm here. So I can't really be impartial to everything that is going on. Still, I feel like I'm caught in between. I do care about the people here. I want them to be okay and to survive whatever happens next. I'm worried about May and Master Lao and Po and all of the other friends I've made here. But it's not really my place to get upset about it all. This isn't my land – not my country. I feel like a stranger at a funeral. I feel bad but not the way that they do. I can only imagine how it must feel to know your whole livelihood may be destroyed in the months to come. _

_Dr. Marcoh and I are in the same boat there. We've talked about it. He says that all we can do is try our best to ease the lives of those around us – stay out of the way and help out as much as possible. Little things really, but what else can we do?_

_I haven't seen May in weeks. She's been in near-constant conferences with her councilors. They haven't come to any sort of decision yet that I know of. _

_I don't really have any reason to be upset about her absence. I know that she's busy and that she has way too much on her plate right now. But I'll admit that I miss her. She was pretty much a constant in my life during those first months after I got my body back and even after we came to Xing, we spent a lot of time together. We have a lot in common and I enjoy spending time with her. She's my friend. It's weird not to see her at all anymore, almost as weird as it is not having you around – almost but not quite. I don't think I'll ever get used to not being able to talk to you brother._

_Master Lao is quiet – well, he's usually quiet but now he's even quieter. My lesson today was subdued. I get the impression that he's distracted by something even though he tries hard not to show it. His focus is elsewhere and I wish he would just tell me what he's thinking. _

_I don't know what anyone is thinking._

_I'm not sure what I'm going to do if there is a war, Brother. Should I fight? Should I help protect the people here? I don't think I'm really strong enough yet to be much good in a real fight. And I haven't learned any of the combat alkahestry May uses. I never intended to learn any of that. I know that at the very least, if the fighting comes here, I'll be able to help those who are injured. I know how to heal minor wounds and do other small things like reduce fevers and draw out infections. _

_I've actually been helping some of the local doctors already – going about with them for house calls. I can't do a lot but what I can do helps and every bit of practice I get is beneficial to my training. When the fighting starts, and it's pretty much a guarantee at this point, I want to be ready to do my part and help where ever I can._

_-Al_


	10. July 10, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Well, I don't know about the rest of you but I was craving a little AlMay fluff. Here you go!

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>July 10, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_The fighting has begun. Not here – not yet anyway. Most of it is centered around the Imperial City right now, as the larger clans attempt to seize control of the throne. Once a single clan has control of the city, the other clans will mobilize against it and against one another. _

_Even though things are still relatively quiet within the Chang province, there is a current of unrest moving through the ground and through the people. I can feel it. _

_The Dragon's Pulse, Brother… it lets me feel so many things. Some things are easier to sense than others but it seems that anything wrong stands out sharply against all the rest. It's like all of nature is screaming out against what is happening right now. Even hundreds of kilometers away, I can sense it. I can feel it in my bones as people are being slaughtered in the streets. _

_And I'm not the only one. Most of the people here can read the Dragon's Pulse – even if they aren't alkahestrists. They can feel what is happening and it hurts them. They can't even shut if off like I can. I still have to concentrate to feel the Dragon's Pulse but, for them, it's second nature. They feel it without thinking about it. And it stirs their own spirits into a state of turmoil, escalating the feeling of disquiet which is spreading through the country. _

_May came to me tonight. She's still here actually, but she's sleeping. She's so exhausted. She's been so worried about taking care of her people, I think she just needed someone to take care of her for a while. _

_She told me everything – what the council had been discussing and the decision they had come to. Chang will not be allying itself with another clan. There isn't one trustworthy enough in the nearby provinces and it would do little good to form an alliance with a more distant clan. Besides, May could not bring herself to sacrifice the men of her clan as soldiers to fight another clan's battles. _

_But this won't stop Chang from losing everything. The land is forfeit – the homes, most of the possessions will be lost when the armies come through. But there is a chance for the people. In the mountains to the East of here, there are deep caves, big enough to hide hundreds of people. The entrances are hard to find but the people of Chang know those mountains and it is possible to hide there for months, years even if need be. Mountain streams and underground springs will provide fresh water and they have already begun moving provisions – food, clothing, medical supplies, basic necessities. It won't be a lot, but it will have to be enough._

_Tomorrow, the people will be told of the plan and asked to pack only the essentials and a few personal items, family heirlooms and priceless treasures mostly – things which can't be replaced. Then they will start moving the people. They can't send everyone at once. If they all vanish suddenly, the other clans will notice and come looking. So the women and children and elderly will go first – in small groups. The men will stay behind and keep the villages looking lived in for a while longer. When the first of the armies reach the Chang boarder, we will go. _

_Yes, I'm going with them. I don't really have a choice. If I stay here, I'll be killed. If I try to get back to Amestris, I'll have to fight my way through enemy clan territory to reach the border and, for all I know, the borders may still be under heavy guard. I don't think I'd make it across on my own. _

_Besides, May needs me. Her mother died years ago and her father… well her father was the emperor and he never cared. He's gone now too, leaving May an orphan. Her only siblings are half siblings who would sooner see her dead than try to care for her. She has aunts and uncles and cousins and Master Lao here in the clan, but she has always been the princess to them. They have always expected so much of her. She has to be strong for them. She won't show weakness in front of anyone else. _

_I guess that's why she came to me. She doesn't have to be strong for me. She can tell me how scared she is. She can cry._

_She cried herself to sleep tonight – cried, because she thinks she has failed her people. She's doing everything she can for them but, in her eyes, it will never be enough. I hate seeing her like this. I want to fix it – make it better somehow – but, short of giving her the Stone, there is nothing I can do. _

_I will stay with her though. She needs someone to be strong for her right now and, even though I'm not very strong physically, I can provide the strength of spirit. _

_Shao May keeps staring at me. She's a funny little panda and I know that she's the only friend May ever had. Well, she has me now, too, so I guess Shao May and I have something in common. We both want to protect May. _

_May looks so young when she's sleeping. Pretty too._

_Wow… that's embarrassing to write. You'd better not start laughing when you read this, Brother. I'm just saying… well, she is. She's got this cute, innocent look about her, but not so much as when we first met her. It's been over a year now since then. She's grown up a lot. I guess I have too; it's just harder to notice the changes in me since I was still in the armor a year ago. I've mostly just filled out since I got my body back. I definitely look better than I did when May found me in the train depot. I wonder if she's noticed?_

_I mean… wow… I can't believe I just wrote that. I'm… just going to stop writing now. Okay, Brother?_

_-Al _


	11. August 21, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Things are moving faster now. Stay tuned for more letters from Al. Also, check out the new "what-if" story I posted as a spin off from this series. I know a lot of people wanted Al to be a kid again too – well here's that side of the story.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>August 21, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I've never been in a ghost town before but I feel like I am in one now. The villages of the Chang Clan are almost completely empty – they have been for weeks. It's just down to the skeleton crew now, just enough people to keep things looking remotely lived in._

_We've been busy – packing, moving supplies, moving people. I've been out to the caves twice now to help but I always come back. May is still here. Even though she is a woman, and a child really, and should have been in one of the first groups to leave for that reason, she is a princess first. She says she won't leave until everyone else is out. That's her duty. _

_So I'll be staying here until the last moment too. _

_We can hear the fighting now. It's still a long ways off but at night, when the sound travels farther, I can hear the gunshots and the explosions. It was frightening at first and kept me awake. I'm almost used to it now, which is a scary thought. People aren't supposed to get used to the sounds of slaughter. _

_I'm afraid, Brother. I'm not so proud that I won't admit it – to you at least. I'm terrified really. Even with all of the fighting we've done, we've never been this close to an actual war. Even the war in Ishval, as much as we've used it as a common excuse for your automail, it never really touched us in Resembool. The worst that came of it for us were the deaths of Uncle Urey and Aunt Sara, and that was Scar's doing. But it was still so far away. He never heard the cannons, never saw the flames casting a glow on the horizon._

_Brother… I'm worried about the people here – about May especially, but all of the others too. What I didn't expect was to be so worried about you. You're safe in Amestris. None of this is ever going to touch you. Except… except that if die out here, you'll never know what happened to me. These letters won't ever leave Xing and no one will know. _

_Will you be okay, Brother? If I never come home, will you keep looking for me forever? Or will you find a way to move on? Be happy? Marry Winry maybe… _

_You're so stubborn. And I'm worried that you will throw your life away trying to find me. That's why I've been so determined to get home. I don't want you to waste your life. But I don't know what's going to happen in this war. We can hide in the caves for a while but there is no guarantee that we won't be found. _

_I'm not afraid of dying. I've seen death before. I just… I don't want it to end this way. I want to see you again, Brother. And all of these people here – they don't deserve to die. They're just trying to survive. May… she's trying so hard to protect them. It's not fair. _

_I will promise you this, Brother – even though I don't know what's going to happen next, I will keep pushing forward. I won't give up. I will do everything I can to go on living so that I can get back to you. If I don't make it – it won't be for lack of trying._

_I have a small, personal bag which I carry with me everywhere now. If we have to go at a moment's notice, these are the things which I refuse to leave behind – the Philosopher's Stone and my letters to you. Should something happen to me, hopefully, HOPEFULLY, someone will take it upon themselves to deliver the letters. Then at least you'll know – and you'll stop looking._

_I need to get back to work now. There is still so much to do. We've been burying things – important treasures of the Chang Clan, too big or too fragile to take with us to the caves. We lower them into deep cellars and then use alkahestry to cover them up so that they will be well hidden and preserved until the people can return. I've been doing my part and learning a few new techniques along the way._

_I'm not sure when I'll be able to write again – probably not until we move to the caves permanently. Till then – be safe, Brother._

_-Al _


	12. September 8, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Below, you will find an abridged and edited version of the Hippocratic Oath. It's mostly the same but with less of the flowery language and a few tidbits about alkahestry. I tried to keep all of the important parts in there, even if I changed the words up a bit to be less… Greek. Please keep in mind that this is only _based_ on the Hippocratic Oath – essentially the Xingese version.

Updated 1/16 11pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>September 8, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_This past week has been… exhausting doesn't quite cover it. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. There are well over four hundred people here in the caves. And just outside – we can hear them. The armies. They're destroying the land, the farms, the homes. If the people of Chang ever get to go back – there won't be much to go back to. They'll have to start all over. _

_We barely made it out before the armies arrived. May and I were the last to leave. I had to practically drag her away because… even though we were the last to go, we weren't the last ones there. _

_She had promised herself that she wouldn't leave until everyone else was gone. But there was one who wouldn't leave._

_Master Lao._

"_I am old." he said. "I was born in this house. I have lived in this house. I will die in this house." _

_It didn't matter how much we pleaded with him to come with us. That stubborn old man… We watched from the foothills as the main house was burned to the ground. May wouldn't stop crying. He was her grandfather. _

_My chest hurts. I won't cry – not with all of these people here. I have no right to cry. It isn't my home being destroyed out there._

_But Master Lao… he was so good to me. _

_Two days ago, before we left, I took a turn at trying to convince my teacher to leave. May had stormed out in frustration not long before, so it was just the two of us. I didn't say anything at first. I couldn't think of anything to say which hadn't already been said. He wasn't going to leave. I could tell. I saw the acceptance in his eyes. He knew this was the end for him and he didn't want to hear anymore arguments. So I stayed silent. _

_Then he surprised me. _

_He said, "You will make your oath now, Xuesheng."_

_I argued of course – because I haven't completed my training. But he said… he said that my time as his student was complete and that he would hear my oath before we part ways. He took out the pages containing the oath, which I was to profess and then sign. I translated it into Amestrian so that I could make the oath in my native tongue – as is proper. I've included it here in my letters, for safe keeping, and so that you can read it and hold me to my promise._

_So I took the oath, Brother. It wasn't a spectacular moment or anything – no fanfare – just me and my teacher. Somehow I think it was more fitting that way._

_After we'd both signed the paper, Master Lao did something he's never done before. _

_He called me by my name._

_He said, "Alphonse, you are no longer my student, but my son. I have taken you under my wing and taught you what I know. You have promised to stay faithful to the true purpose of our art. And now I ask you to promise me one more thing."_

_I would have promised him anything, I think. He'd done so much for me, the least I could do in return was grant him a final promise. And what he asked of me… well, it wasn't anything I wasn't doing already. But the way he asked… it was so serious, like it meant so much more. _

"_Protect my granddaughter. Protect May Chang. Give me your word, Alphonse."_

_I gave it. I will protect May. Of course I will. She is my dear friend. How could I not protect her? _

_And it was with that promise in mind that I pulled May away from her grandfather, away from her home, and into the mountains. I thought about that promise as I held her and she cried as we watched her village burn. I'm still thinking about that promise, even though she hates me right now. _

_I let him die, Brother. It was what he wanted and I couldn't force him to go. It was hard enough just to get May out of there. But still… I let him die. And it hurts. It hurts so much. _

_He called me his son, Brother. In a way, I guess he was like a father to me – or a grandfather anyway. I only knew him for a short while but I came to respect him in that time. His guidance meant so much to me and I feel like there was still so much more he could have taught me. _

_I can't cry here. In a way, being here in the caves is like being in my armor again. I am surrounded by people and yet I am separate from them, different, a stranger. They mourn but I cannot mourn with them. I hurt, but I cannot cry. _

_I want to go home. _

_-Al_

* * *

><p>I swear that I will observe and keep this oath, to the utmost of my power and judgment.<p>

I will reverence my master who taught me the art. I will support him and consider his sons as brothers. I will teach them my art without reward or agreement; I will impart my knowledge to my master's children, as to my own, and to all my pupils who shall bind and tie themselves by a professional oath.

With regard to healing the sick and injured, I will take care to do no harm. I will not give poison nor use alkahestry to poison the body against itself. Moreover, I will administer no sort of medicine nor alkahestric procedure to any pregnant woman, with a view to destroy the child.

Further, I will comport myself and use my knowledge in a righteous manner. Whatsoever house I may enter, my visit shall be for the patient. I will not offer falsehoods or commit any sort of injury upon the dignity of the family. I will keep confidence with my patients and not utter their secrets beyond the walls of their home. I will help all persons who come into my care, regardless of race or class.

If I faithfully observe this oath, may I thrive and prosper in my fortune and profession, and live in the estimation of posterity; or on breach thereof, may the reverse be my fate!

Student – _Alphonse Elric_

Teacher – _Laoshi An Chang_


	13. October 16, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Something a little lighter – that last letter was rough.

Updated 1/17 2pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>October 16, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Tensions are running high here in the caves. People are restless. There isn't much to do here beyond providing for basic necessities. A few fights and arguments have broken out recently. It's bound to happen with over four hundred people living together in such a small place. Individual families put up tents and tarps as their "homes" but it's really only an illusion of privacy. I imagine this is what the military tent cities were like during wartimes back home. I remember seeing some pictures of those at Headquarters._

_Everyone does their part here washing clothes, mending, drawing water, hunting – well the men do the hunting mostly. I've actually helped a lot with that. I taught some of the younger boys how to set traps. It seems like our time on Yock Island is doing me some good. _

_We also take turns keeping watch. The majority of the armies have moved on from our province but there are still scouts keeping watch and every now and then two clans will come together for a brief skirmish, trying to seize the land. We're pretty sure that the Yin Clan is controlling our province right now – not that that means anything to you. _

_We watch to make sure their scouts don't come too close to our mountains. If they do… well, our guards are sent to dispatch them. I don't really want to know the details, but I know that they make the deaths look accidental – a fall, or an animal attack. It's what we have to do to survive. If we are found, we'll all be killed. I know that. But it still bothers me. _

_Another thing – we have to be careful in our movements outside of the caves. We can't leave any trace or someone might discover us. The children are actually really good at it. It's a game to them – like hide-and-seek. Don't let the enemy find us. They go about covering foot prints and making disturbances look more natural. At least it keeps them entertained and lets them out for some sunlight – but only when we are sure that there are no scouts in the area. _

_I've had my work cut out for me as an alkahestrist as well. Living in such close quarters, disease spreads easily. I use alkahestry to remove impurities from the drinking water, which helps some – but not all. We have a quarantined area for those who become ill and we try to keep things contained as much as possible. I work with Dr. Marcoh and the other doctors to help ease the fevers and encourage the immune system to fight the disease. Most of the people heal fairly quickly, but it's exhausting work. Alkahestry usually uses the natural energy of whatever is being healed or changed. But in medicine, the alkahestrist has to use some of his own energy so as not to further weaken the patient. When I see ten-twenty patients in a day, I end up passing out afterward. But the experience is good for me. _

_I also help with injuries. The other day, a young boy fell and broke his arm. I've studied a lot about mending bones but hadn't had the chance to try it out yet. Under the supervision of Dr. Marcoh, I was able to speed up the healing process and re-knit the fracture. The bone will still be weak for a while, so the boy will have to keep it in a sling and be careful, but it won't take nearly as long as it would have to heal naturally. And he won't be in as much pain either. _

_The boy gave me a big hug when I was finished. It was… satisfying. I'm sure now, even more than I was before, that this is what I want to do with my life._

_Beyond all of that, there isn't much to do here. We all keep busy during the day, but in the evenings boredom sets in and people start to bicker. So we had to come up with some entertainment, right?_

_The Xingese people love music and dancing – but not like what we've seen and heard in Amestris. It's different here. Everything tells a story. I've heard so many stories lately and they are all new to me – but to the people here they are old and familiar. They wanted something new._

_Somehow, without my consent, I've been declared the Amestrain storyteller. For these people, Amestris is a wonderful, exotic place – unlike anything they've ever seen. They want to hear about it, but not just facts and history. They want a story and they expect me to tell it._

_Well… I don't know too many stories – just ours. So that's what I tell them – the story of the Fullmetal Alchemist. You're kind of a hero here, Brother. Every night I tell about another of our adventures. It's kind of fun actually. And just last night, one of the young girls presented a new song she'd written about the great hero of Amestris. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing the whole time. They just don't know you like I do. It's really hard for me to picture you as "the golden knight who rides the sun with pineapples." Okay, so that's a rough translation but you get the idea. You'd be laughing too, if you could hear it. _

_May still isn't talking to me – not really anyway. She'll say things when she has to but she mostly just avoids me. I guess she still blames me for Master Lao's death. She doesn't really have much to do anymore. There are no decisions to make now that we're just waiting out the war. And as the princess, the people won't really let her do much to actually help. _

_I see her sitting nearby while I tell stories to the children and sometimes, when I glance up, I think I catch her smiling but she always looks away when I notice. Still, I think she likes hearing the stories. Now I'm just waiting for her to come and talk to me again. _

_I have to keep stopping myself from asking you questions like, "How are you, Brother?" and "What's going on in Amestris, right now?" I know you aren't going to get these letters any time soon, so it's not like you can answer me. But I do want to know. We're going to have a lot of catching up to do when I get back._

_-Al_


	14. November 16, 1915

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> No, there is nothing wrong with ff. net and the document did not get messed up. The end of this letter is purely intentional and will make more sense once the next one is posted.

Updated 1/18 11pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 16, 1915<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Well… it's been one year. You know, I really thought I'd be home by now, although I've known for a while that it wasn't going to happen. But then, one year ago today, I would never have imagined everything that's happened since. And that's only on my side of things._

_It's amazing how much can happen in a year. But I guess we've seen that before. I mean it only took you one year to recover from automail surgery and get your license as a state alchemist. And then the years after that seem to have flown by – with us traveling from place to place, searching for new leads, doing random jobs for the state and some… just because. _

_It might be interesting, someday, to try and map out our entire journey – make a time line of it too. I wouldn't even mind going back and revisiting some of the places we've been before. Just for fun, you know. No missions. No research. Just sightseeing for once. It'd be fun – and certainly a far cry different from these caves. _

_I'm getting tired of staring at these stone walls. I've even signed up for double-duty on the watch just to spend more time outside. I probably wouldn't have cared as much a year ago. In the armor, I couldn't enjoy the warmth of the sun or the cool breeze on my neck. I couldn't feel the grass or smell the fresh air. Being outside is just such a wonderful experience – more so than ever before. It's one of those things I just can't take for granted anymore. Not only, but if I go without, I start to crave it. It's an almost claustrophobic feeling. I want sunshine and fresh air and space. _

_But we have to be careful. I know that. There have been soldiers patrolling near the mountains again. Another land skirmish took place a few nights ago and the cave is on lock-down until we have the all clear. That means the main entrances have been closed and hidden. There are a few smaller ones, which are harder to reach, for use by our guards and watchmen. The rest of us have to stay inside. We keep our voices low and use minimal light. The fires are banked to keep too much smoke from exiting the ventilation shafts. We are also ready to run, if need be. Everyone has a small bag packed with basic necessities and important possessions – just enough to survive on if we have to move suddenly. _

_There are other caves, some of which can be reached through tunnels leading off of this one. If we must, we will move the entire clan. But I don't think that will be necessary. We've been here for over two months now and no one has come close to finding us. Hopefully, the armies will move on again soon and we can relax for awhile again._

_May has finally come around and started talking to me again. It's not like it was before though. She doesn't open up to me as much, but she's trying. I'm glad. I didn't want to lose my friendship with her. I have so few friends out here. Everyone is nice to me but there isn't really anyone I can just talk to. Dr. Marcoh is great but sometimes you just need someone closer to your own age. There's Po I guess, but he's not very talkative – more like the strong, silent type – a great sparring partner though. _

_Speaking of which – I finally think I might be ready to take you on again, Brother. I won't fool myself into thinking I could beat you just yet, but I'm getting there. It feels good to be strong – especially now, remembering what it was like a year ago when I first got my body back. I don't think I ever want to be that weak again. It was just so_


	15. January?, 1916

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Sorry. That cliffhanger was mean, wasn't it?**  
><strong>

Updated 1/19 9pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>January?, 1916<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm not even sure where to begin. Feels like forever since I've written. I went back and read my last letter. November… seems like forever ago. But that was the day everything went wrong and I only know that much because I remember writing just before it started. I never even finished that letter. _

_I'm such an idiot. There I was going on about how safe we were in the caves. Well… guess who was wrong, Brother. The caves seem like an eternity ago now. I'm not even sure if I can remember it all correctly to write about it now – but I'll try. _

_We're really not sure how they found us, but they must've known we were there for a while. The attack was planned, coordinated – an ambush. There has been some speculation that we were betrayed by one of our own but talk like that only serves to foster suspicion and turn people against each other. We really can't afford to be fighting amongst ourselves right now._

_Anyway, the attack – they blocked off the entrances. When we realized what was happening, everyone who knew how to fight or use a weapon went to head them off, while the rest gathered the women and children and started sending everyone down the tunnels – deeper into the caves. I went with the men at first. May and I started erecting barriers between the soldiers and our people but it didn't do a lot of good. There were just too many of them and the battle… _

_I don't really want to remember it. So many people died that day. I watched them fall. I tried to help but there was so little that I could do. So much for being strong again. My own fighting skills weren't much help against guns and swords. The gunshots – I had already been thinking about our fight with Kimblee before the battle started, but when I heard the guns, so close, echoing through the caves, I just kept seeing the train depot and imagining you, shot and dying. I froze up. I was useless. _

_I was almost killed. I would've been if it hadn't been for Po. He blocked a blow I'd been too slow to catch. Then he pushed me away – told me to find May and get her out of there. "Protect the princess." Because these people really do love her. I remembered my promise to Master Lao and, here again, her protection was entrusted to me. So I did as he told me. I found May, fighting her own battle some yards away. I helped her stop the attacker and then I grabbed her hand and led her away – following the people who'd run before. _

_That was the last time I saw Po. It was the last time we saw a lot of people. Dr. Marcoh is gone as well but I don't think he stayed to fight so I'm hoping he made it out in the first wave. I try to be optimistic – to think that a lot of them got away and are with other groups somewhere. We know that there are other groups – there must be. Because this can't be all that is left._

_There are seventy-eight people with us now – mostly women and children, only twenty-three men. Seventy-eight from a clan of more than four hundred. It was never a very big clan, but seeing what's become of it – divided, destroyed, captured, enslaved. Who knows? It's… It's hard. _

_We don't stay in one place anymore. We've gone farther east deeper into the mountain range, and south because it's warmer. We are lucky the winter hasn't been too harsh so far. I should mention that we once had more in our group – closer to one hundred and twenty when we first left the caves. Several smaller groups have branched off, for various reasons – mostly disputes about direction or whether it might be easier to hide several small groups instead of one big one. We've already encountered two more army patrols as suffered casualties in the ensuing battles._

_The logic seems to suggest that we all split up, that smaller groups would increase our chances of survival. But then, I think people are afraid to lose what little sense of clan they have left. If they all split up, the Chang Clan will basically cease to exist. Beyond that, the women and children seem to do better together –especially the children. _

_They are so frightened, Brother. Many of them have lost one or both of their parents already. The war is confusing to them. They don't understand why they had to leave their home or why people are dying. They're scared. _

_I do what I can to help – telling stories, giving them hope. But it's hard to stay positive when things look so bad. Every day is just another challenge to keep surviving. We wake up, check the traps for food – there is so little to eat now, we have to ration what we have – decide whether to move or risk staying in one spot for another day because the children need to rest, pack up camp, walk for hours, find a new place to camp – hopefully near fresh water – wash clothes, set traps, build fires, take turns on the watch, and try to get some sleep in between. _

_Every day is pretty much the same. It's been like this for weeks – months. I'm not even really sure what the date is anymore. Pretty sure it's past the new year though. _

_May and I have been arguing a lot. She wants to go back – to try and find more of her people. She's so determined to keep everyone together. I understand why. The clan is all she has. They have been her focus her entire life. I don't think she knows how to not live for the clan – how to worry about herself for once. That's why we fight – because I won't let her go._

_I'm protecting her – that's what I promised to do. And it's sort of expected of me now. The other people want to keep May safe as much as I do, but I'm the one the duty falls to. It's like I'm her official body guard now. When the princess starts to get crazy ideas and wants to do things on her own, the people turn to me to hold her back. They still complain about her trip to Amestris, which was apparently unapproved and unsanctioned by her council. It's frustrating for me though because she is so stubborn. And, also, I completely get where she's coming from. _

_I want to go find people. I want to see what else I can do to help. I've thought about it. I could go on my own or May and I could go together. We could probably find more of the clan out there. But I also know that the people here need me now. And that May needs me. And the people need May. She's like… their beacon. As long as May is alive and safe, the people of the Chang Clan have something to believe in. they have hope. I can't take that away from them. _

_I won't leave May behind and, right now, May needs to stay here, even if she doesn't want to. We all hate feeling useless. But what can we do except to keep pressing onward? This war can't last forever, right?_

_-Al_


	16. March, 1916

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> The cultural custom described in this chapter is not based on any actual culture and thus can be considered purely Xingese. If it bares any similarities to any actual culture… well, it wasn't intentional.

Updated 1/20 10pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>March (maybe), 1916<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Do you remember when I said that learning Xingese was like deciphering a complex alchemic code? Did I write that? I think I did. Anyway… it turns out that I didn't decipher everything correctly or, well, at least not this one thing. It's kind of important too… and embarrassing – very embarrassing. You'd better not laugh when you read this. I'm only writing it now because I need to get it out of my head before my face becomes permanently flushed._

_It started this morning. We were busy striking camp, getting ready to move again. I'm not even sure where we are anymore. We don't have any maps but a few of the men seems to know they area pretty well and have become our guides. I do know that we are very far from the Chang province and we have been skirting the mountains and staying away from villages so as to avoid potential battle ground. Apparently the Xingese armies prefer open land for their battles. We've been lucky. We haven't encountered enemy soldiers in nearly a month. In fact, the only other people we've seen recently was a small group of women and children from another clan. They were more frightened of us than anything else. We offered to let them join us but they chose to go their own way. Animosity between clans is still too thick for acknowledgement of shared suffering. _

_Anyway, it was as we were packing that one of the watchmen spotted smoke rising from the mountains back the way we'd come, about twenty-five kilometers away. It wasn't enough to suggest an army and it couldn't have been the group of women from before; they'd gone another way. That's when the argument started._

_May wanted to take a small team back and investigate the other group in hopes that they are from Chang. All this time, she hasn't stopped worrying about the rest of her clan. No one has really, but most everyone else is able to focus on the here and now – we have to take care of our own group for now and trust the others to do the same. May wanted to know though and some of the others agreed that it would be wise to see if they are friend or foe. They are too close for us to ignore them. _

_Of course, May wanted to go with them. There was a loud clamor against that idea and then the three men who were selected went to prepare – but not without giving me an expectant look, as though I was supposed to take care of May and make sure she stays._

_Naturally, May wasn't taking "no" for an answer. I found her by her tent, packing her own small travel supplies, intending to go with the men whether they liked it or not. I tried to explain things calmly and to simply convince her that staying with the main group would be the best course of action. But she's been pushing my buttons lately and the argument got a bit heated… and loud. _

_I wouldn't be surprised if the whole camp was watching us at that point. She accused me of treating her like a child when I am barely any older than she is. I argued that I was only trying to keep her safe._

"_Why?!" she asked. "Why are you so concerned about me?"_

_So I told her. "Because I promised Master Lao that I'd protect you!"_

_Then the camp got really quiet… and May's face turned really red. It was like a tomato! I thought maybe she'd forgotten how to breath or something. But the next thing I know she was dropping her things and dashing off towards the river – in the opposite direction from where the team was headed._

_I stood there for a few moments – not sure what had just happened. Everyone was staring at me. Some of the children were giggling and even the women were hiding smiles behind their fans. Then, slowly, people went back to work._

_I was completely baffled. It was like they were all in on this big joke that I wasn't a part of – or maybe I was the butt of it. Now that I understand – that's exactly what I was._

_A young mother, named Jun, finally took pity on me and pulled me aside to explain. And here's the embarrassing part. Don't laugh!_

_Apparently, in Xing, when a young man promises the father – or grandfather, in this case, – of a young woman that he will protect her, it is essentially a promise of… well, the best translation I can think of is… betrothal. _

_It's not even really that, Brother! I'm not… engaged, per say. No way! I'm not even sixteen yet. I'm way too young to be thinking about marriage! _

_But… it's like a preliminary promise to… become engaged… later, when we're both old enough. Of course, the promise only goes so far as, I have to ask. May is in no way required to accept my proposal. But until such a time comes as I actually ask and she actually denies me, we're kind of promised to each other._

_The worst part is that the entire clan knows – well, what's here of it anyway. Although, the rest might know as well or they might have guessed because this attitude they've had has gone on since before we left the caves. Either someone over heard my promise to Master Lao and told everyone else, or everyone just assumed. That's why they've been expecting me to "take care of May" every time she's upset or wants to do something dangerous. It's my duty – beyond that of simply protecting her. I'm supposed to keep her calm and happy. I'm supposed to be… wooing her? I guess? Drawing her mind towards womanly frivolities to distract her from the turmoil of these times?_

_I'm paraphrasing from all of the random advice I've been given throughout the day today. Apparently, now that I've unintentionally announced "my intensions" to the entire clan, it's suddenly everyone's business and everyone feels obligated to share their opinion. I suppose I should just be glad that no one has challenged me to a duel or threatened to kill me yet._

_May did manage to catch me alone later on. She was much calmer by then and her face was a normal color again, although my own blush doesn't seem to be fading – where's my helmet when I need it? I could totally hide behind that right now. _

_Anyway, May knows that I didn't realize what I was doing when I made that promise to Master Lao. She says that she won't hold me to it and doesn't expect anything of me. She seemed sad when she said it – but I'm not really sure how to interpret that. _

_Anyway, I'm still at a loss for what to do. It's one thing for May to say she won't hold me to my promise. But I didn't promise her – I promised Master Lao. And really, he's the only one who should be able to release me from my word. It was the final request he made to me. He was my teacher. It wouldn't feel right to go back on my word. _

_And there is the clan to think about as well. Now that they know for sure – they'll be expecting us to follow their customs. If we just pretend this didn't happen, people might get upset._

_Of course… I could always just ask May to marry me now and let her turn me down. But I don't think I could bare the embarrassment. Even as just a formality, asking someone to marry me is really serious. And even if I expected it, I don't think it would feel too good to be rejected like that. _

_Besides I don't want to be released from the actual protection part of the promise. I want to protect her. She's my friend. I care about her._

_I'm not even sure I want to be released from the marriage part of it either. I mean, not now certainly, but I've always thought I'd get married someday and have a family of my own. And May… well, I've admitted before that I think she's pretty, and nice, and kind of weird at times but I think that just helps her fit it with our already weird family. Between you and Winry, I'm pretty used to weird._

_But I'm not ready to make any decisions about marriage yet. And if I ask May now just so that she can reject me for simplicities sake – will that ruin my chances if someday in the future I decide I actually do want to marry her? _

_But if I wait and just hold onto the promise until that someday comes around – will she feel obligated to say yes because of a promise I made in ignorance? I could never force her into marriage. That wouldn't be right. _

_And if I do marry her someday, what would that make me? She's a princess, right? Would that make me a prince… or some kind of royal consort? I haven't got a clue how any of this works. I'm so confused. _

_What should I do, Brother? _

_-Al_


	17. May 4, 1916

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>So – because a reviewer asked and because I was curious too – I looked up the rules on royal consorts and stuff. Basically, a royal consort is the spouse of a reigning king or queen. So yes, there can be male consorts and in England there have been three. Granted these are British rules – certainly not Xing - but if we were going by these rules, then no, Al could not be a royal consort because May is not the reigning queen (empress) of Xing, nor will she ever be so in this story. He couldn't be made a prince either. As a commoner he would likely be inducted into something called the peerage (which I suppose means something like nobility) and granted a title like duke or viscount or earl of something or another. But none of this really matters because Al is thinking in terms of whatever country near Amestris might have something like a British Court (I'm gonna go with Creta) and not in Xingese terms. Poor boy is really confused here.

Updated 1/21 11pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>May 4, 1916<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I found out the date! That seemed as good a reason to write a letter as any. It was nice to actually be able to pen the month and day again and not be completely unsure about it. It's really hard to keep track of the days while traveling but I'm going to try harder because not knowing how much time had actually passed was a bit disconcerting. I've always had access to a calendar or a newspaper in the past._

_But anyway, we've stopped traveling for now. We found a small colony of refugees from other clans and we're going to be staying here for a while. That other group I mentioned in my last letter – they weren't from Chang but they were friendly. They had heard about this little haven and invited us to join them on their way here. _

_The colony isn't very big but it sits on top of a high cliff, dropping off into deep water on three sides. Only one road leads up to it and they can see people coming from miles away. They have an incredible defense system set up, including the high stone walls which must be at least ten meters thick. They only open their gates to people who pledge to keep the peace, but they will welcome anyone from any clan who is seeking refuge. _

_Within the colony, the people are still divided – living in their own mini-clan sections, but everyone manages to get along well for the most part. And the best part is – we found more of the Chang Clan here!_

_Dr. Marcoh is with them! And Po! I'm so happy their alright. They got out of the caves just fine but ended up taking a different route which got them here faster. Dr. Marcoh and I gabbed in Amestrian for awhile – just happy to be able to speak our native language for once. I've been speaking Xingese almost exclusively since we left the Chang province._

_May was thrilled to be reunited with two of her aunts and we're all having a party tonight to celebrate our good fortune in making it this far. That's been the tradition here in Binan Suo, since the war started. Whenever new travelers arrive, they throw a welcoming party. All of the clans join together to celebrate and forget their animosity for the night. _

_I'm actually supposed to be getting ready right now. I'm waiting for my hair to dry. I just took my first real bath in ages and my hair is so long now – I haven't had a chance to cut it since the war started. It's not nearly as long as yours. I can't braid it or anything, but it's been falling in my face a lot. I have to see if I can find someone to cut it for me. I don't trust it to turn out right if I try to do it myself. _

_I'm really looking forward to the food tonight. I can smell dumplings. It's amazing. After living off of nuts, fruit, fish, and small game for months, a little feasting will be wonderful. And then we can sleep – really sleep. Safe inside these walls, we won't have to worry about being ambushed. We can actually relax._

_I need to go get ready now, but before I do – I wanted to tell you about the ocean. I never knew that there was an ocean on the other side of Xing. I didn't even realize that Xing was this big – to span the rest of the continent. We really need to study more world geography, Brother. _

_But the water – Brother, I stood on the edge of the cliff and looked out and I swear I could see for hundreds of kilometers. It was so blue – like nothing we've ever seen before. And the sound of the waves smashing against the cliffs – crashing, booming – but not like cannons; it was so different from gunfire – a natural sound, natural and soothing. And the wind was so strong, carrying a mist which clung to the hairs on my arms. The scent of salt water fills the air around here – outdoors, indoors everywhere I go. It's such a refreshing smell. I could go on about this forever. _

_One day – one day, Brother – we'll come back together. You have to see this. You have to hear and smell and feel and see the ocean. This is something I want to share with you._

_-Al_


	18. June 21, 1916

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>You know, I keep trying to write these letters without too many "feels" since everyone keeps complaining about them but gosh, darn it, Al always ends up getting sentimental towards the end. This letter came out of nowhere. I was trying to fill up some time before the next big event in the story. But… it ended up developing into something which will be important down the road in_ ABNE, _so remember this letter.

Updated 1/22 4pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>June 21, 1916<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Sorry I haven't written in a so long. I've been kind of busy. I'm sure you'll understand when you read what I've been up to._

_Binan Suo is even more wonderful than I first imagined, although my reasons for thinking so are probably different from everyone else's. You see, Binan Suo means sanctuary or refuge, and that's what it's become for the people but, originally, it was a sanctuary for knowledge. The colony was first built in conjunction with a great university and not just any university – a University of Alkahestry. _

_This is where alkahestry began, Brother – founded by the Philosopher of the West himself, who first brought alkahestry, as it exists today, to Xing. I've actually been told that I look a lot like the Philosopher of the West, although I don't know how they can say that since the images of him in the old murals are hardly very detailed. But two things do stand out – yellow-blond hair and golden eyes, like ours. So I guess for the Xingese, whose hair and eyes are all so dark, I must seem an awful lot like their philosopher. _

_The college itself stands about five kilometers away from the colony. Much of it is in ruins as the university hasn't actually functioned as a school in over fifty years. But one building has been carefully preserved and maintained by the dedicated scholars – the library!_

_It's incredible, Brother! Hundreds of thousands of ancient scrolls, the foundation of alkahestric science! I never imagined that I'd get such an opportunity. When the elders of Binan Suo learned that I was a student of alkahestry, they told me about the college. My oath – signed by Master Lao, who originally studied here – granted me access to the library. _

_Of course, I am closely supervised. The scrolls are so old and delicate. I have to handle them with the utmost care. It's such an honor just to walk through those doors – three sets of doors actually, to keep most of the salt water in the air from getting in and potentially harming the scrolls. In addition to that, small teams of alkahestrists are assigned to purifying the air within the library several times a day._

_As you can imagine, I've spent a lot of time reading. Thankfully, I'm much better at reading Xingese now than when I started with Master Lao, although some of the ancient characters still make it difficult. I'm actually only allowed to spend a few hours in the library each day so when I'm not studying, I practice what I've learned._

_My favorite place to practice is the small strip of sand that appears at the base of the cliffs during low tide. There is a path leading down – not the easiest to traverse but I can manage it. There, next to the water, I feel like I'm actually a part of nature. I can close my eyes and just feel the world around me – the life energy, the Dragon's Pulse. It's easier to sense it now. I inch my senses through the natural paths of the earth – reaching out with thousands of tiny fingers to brush against every living creature in the world. _

_There is another technique I've learned here, something beyond simply sensing the Dragon's Pulse. They call it the Dragon's Light – Xingese people like dragons – and it's related to the Pulse but it's different. It's not even particularly useful but it is beautiful. It's a vision – but not something you can see with your eyes. And it's not really just one light. It looks like one at first but as you get closer and learn to see it better you realize that it's millions - millions of lights dancing together in a kaleidoscope of color, all interconnected and interacting. Some lights shine more brightly than others. One, in particular, shines brighter than all of the rest. According to the theory, these lights are the souls of every person in the world. And some say that the brighter lights are the people who mean the most to you. There isn't really any means of saying exactly who each light is, but I like to think – even if it's a crazy idea – that that one, bright, light is you, Brother. That even from so far away, I can find you and touch your light._

_Maybe it is a crazy idea. Maybe I'm just feeling sentimental because it's Summer Solstice. _

_They don't celebrate it here the way we do in Amestris. I know it's been a long time since you and I actually celebrated, but you remember, right? Summer Solstice in Resembool with Mom? Do you remember the festival? The food? The music? The lights? I remember. _

_Back then and throughout my whole life, you have always shone so brightly. You may not be with me now, but you're still important. And I know that your light will guide me home when the time is right. _

_Happy Solstice, Brother._

_-Al_


	19. Winter, 1916

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Alright, back to the angst. Sorry. Things have to get worse before they get better.

Updated 1/23 8pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>Winter, 1916<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm not sure where to begin. _

_Things were going so well – we never imagined that they could fall apart so quickly. _

_Binan Suo is… well it's gone. All of it. Even the library – although, I can't bring myself to mourn for the scrolls when I think about the people._

_This was back in September. We weren't there when it happened. I was actually… well, I was on a date. The day started out so peacefully. I'd been getting a lot of pressure from other members of the Chang Clan to start actively wooing their princess. May and I had laughed about the prospect before but I thought, what's the harm in taking her out for a fun day, just to get away for awhile and act like the teenagers we really are?_

_Dr. Marcoh came with us as our… chaperone I guess, but it was more a formality than anything else. I borrowed a horse and wagon and took May down to a secluded beach about ten kilometers away. We had a picnic. I can't even remember what we ate now, or what we talked about. It all seems so unimportant – so frivolous. _

_When we heard the cannons, we started back. I remember thinking that everything would be fine – the colony has such a good defense. But they couldn't defend against alchemy. That's what it was, Brother. I recognized it even from a distance. I'm not sure who they were or how they had alchemists working on their side – I thought the Xingese only studied alkahestry. _

_We couldn't do anything. It was like watching the Chang clan burn all over again, only worse. Because this time there were thousands of people inside and we could only watch from a distance as they perished. _

_We waited for a week, until the army left, and then we went in to look for survivors. There weren't any. If anyone did escape… they left._

_I won't – I can't describe what I saw there, Brother. It was awful. I can still see it every time I close my eyes. I dread falling asleep each night because I know that the nightmares will come. Well… that's not why I'm not sleeping now. Right now, I'm just trying to stay awake so that I don't freeze to death. _

_After leaving Binan Suo, May and Dr. Marcoh and I headed North, along the coast – hoping to find another refuge or at least some place the three of us could use as a home – away from the armies, away from the war. Winter hit us hard a few weeks ago and we've holed up in a cave with what little provisions we have left. I set traps but we haven't had much luck finding food. When it gets really cold, like now, we have to spend the night keeping each other awake. May and Dr. Marcoh are playing a game – it's sort of like checkers. _

_We have a fire, but its warmth isn't really enough. I have to sit right next to it just to keep the ink from freezing and my fingers from turning to ice. We just have to make it through the night. We'll sleep in the morning when it's warmer. _

_I can't do this anymore. I can't stand to see people suffering and dying and not be able to help. I still have the stone… I finally told May and Dr. Marcoh about it. It just didn't seem right to be keeping such a secret from them now, when it's just us. May was angry at first but she understands why I kept it from her. It doesn't do us any good now but I can't wait to be rid of it. I've discussed it with Dr. Marcoh and he's agreed to take it once we get back to Amestris. He intends to resume his healing mission and continue to use the stone for good until there's nothing left. That's the best answer we could come up with._

_We've been talking about heading back to Amestris. Dr. Marcoh wants to go and so do I. May is… resigned. She's lost everything, Brother. Her whole clan is gone. She calls herself a failure. And I can't think of any way to make this better. She'll probably come with us to Amestris, just because she has nowhere else to go. _

_Of course, getting home will mean crossing Xing again. It's just the three of us and if we stick to the mountains we should be safe. It's the border I'm worried about. Who knows how hard it'll be to get across. We just have to make it to the desert though – they won't follow us there. After that… I'll be home._

_It's been two years now. Are you still looking for me? Are you still waiting? I will come home, Brother. I promise. As soon as this winter is over, we'll head out again and I'll be home before you know it. And then maybe the nightmares will finally stop. _

_-Al_


	20. Spring, 1917

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>On the one hand, I feel like Al should be writing more frequently. He would, right? But then, if I include every letter he might possibly write, this could take forever. It's already taking longer than I thought it would. We're only in year three – out of twelve… yeah, the other years are gonna move faster. I promise. I wanted Al to have a real adventure though. He hasn't just been twiddling his thumbs for twelve years. Hope it's not too tedious, waiting for me to get back to the main story. Also, sorry for the short letter. Al just doesn't have a lot to tell right now.

Updated 1/24 3pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>Spring, 1917<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_It's finally warm enough to travel again. We're heading out soon – tomorrow, I think. May caught a bad cold and we've been waiting for her to recover but she was feeling much better this morning and we don't want to wait too much longer. We were lucky not to be discovered, staying in one spot for so long. Several times, we spotted soldiers traveling nearby. We want to avoid them as much as possible. Three people – even two alkahestrists and an alchemist – are no match for a whole army. _

_I have a good feeling about this though. Maybe it's just the knowledge that I'm finally heading home – that every day will bring me a little bit closer and soon we'll be together again – but I really feel like this journey will be easier than the last. _

_Dr. Marcoh also seems excited to be heading West again. He's never said anything, but I think being here in Xing has been hard on him. He's had a difficult life and these past two years – three if you count the year before when he was running from the homunculi – have been especially difficult. The poor man needs a break. But I can't deny that I've been grateful for his shared wisdom and company during our travels together. _

_We'll leave Xing the way we came – Me and May and Dr. Marcoh. Granted, Scar isn't with us now. And neither is Yoki… wow, I'd almost forgotten about him. I wonder where he ended up. _

_May is still grieving for her clan – I doubt she'll ever fully recover from the loss. I'm worried about her, Brother. She tries to put on a brave face and not show how much she is hurting. But every day, it seems like a battle for her to get up in the morning. She's always looking back – thinking about them. She doesn't participate much in our travel planning. She just goes along with whatever Dr. Marcoh and I say. She looks defeated. It's like she's not really there anymore. Her spirit is gone. She's just a shadow of that spunky girl we met in Central all those years ago. _

_I don't know what to do. How can I fix this? I promised to protect her… and I have kept her safe, physically. But her heart is broken. How can I protect her from loss, from war… when it's all around us? I just want to get her out of here. Maybe then , I can find a way to help her move on – to help her heal. _

_It took us seven months to cross Xing through the mountains before – but we had a larger group of people then and the traveling was slower. This time – I hope to cut our travel time in half. It may take us a while to find a way to cross the border, so the sooner we get there, the better. _

_So… half a year, maybe? If all goes well. Six months and I'll be home._

_-Al_


	21. August, 1917

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Almost there guys!

Updated 1/25 2pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>August, 1917<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_We made it through the mountains. It took us longer than I had hoped but at least we're here now – here being a small town near the border. We've managed to find lodging in an old temple - it's considered holy ground and has been spared destruction, despite being in the middle of one of the most war torn areas of Xing. The monks have been kind to us, although they don't speak at all – they've taken a vow of silence. _

_The reason it took so long to get here… well it's kind of dumb really. I tripped – broke my ankle. It's probably the most painful thing I've experienced since getting my body back. Now I know how you felt with all of those broken ribs and that time you broke your arm. I don't imagine it's anywhere near as bad as your automail surgery was though. Anyway, even using alkahestry to speed the healing, I had to stay off of it for a while and go slow for some time after that. That was probably our biggest delay. _

_Not long after that, we all got hit by a nasty sickness – fevers, aches, and… stuff I'd rather not put in a letter. We came down with it one after the other. It only lasted a few days for each of us, again alkahestry was a big help, but it still managed to knock more than a week off of our travel schedule. Then there was the hot spring we decided to stop at, because we all really needed the break and I think it helped May relax some. And we spent a few days helping a small family we came across. They had been struggling to survive on their own and didn't have a lot of food. I showed them how to set traps and taught them some general survival skills. It felt good to help them and they were very grateful. _

_Anyway… there were other things too but we finally managed to get here. Now we've just got to figure out how to get across the border and into the desert. It won't be easy._

_Back when the border was first closed, the old emperor ordered a wall to be built. Whether it was to keep people in or keep people out, I don't know. Tensions with Amestris over the Bradley assassination surely didn't help anything but I think the emperor probably knew that a war like this would begin after his death and he knew that people would try to escape Xing for their own safety. The wall keeps the people from leaving. And the armies, of the stronger clans, are constantly fighting for control of the wall. With all of the fighting going on around it, it'll be dangerous to try and cross over._

_We've heard that there are armies on the other side too; there to make sure that no one escapes. Most of the people who have tried were killed. Still, we have heard of a passage which should be able to get us out. It's not the safest and it actually lies through one of thickest areas of fighting. But others have supposedly made it. _

_We have to try. We can only stay at the temple for so long. The monks take in travelers weary from the road but they are expected to move on quickly and make room for others. But there are only two choices from here – head back into the mountains or brave the wall. _

_I'm not going back, Brother. I won't stay in Xing any longer. I'm ready to go home and I know we can do this. May and I are young and strong – we know how to fight and we'll do what we must to make it through. Dr. Marcoh is ready as well. We'll help him. I'm sure we can make it if we stick together. We've certainly faced worse odds in the past. Heck, you were swallowed by Gluttony and still made it out alive. If you can do that, I know I can find a way to get us out of here safely. I'll be home soon, Brother. _

_-Al._


	22. September, 1917

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Really short letter. Al doesn't have a lot of time to write. The next few are all going to be short but I'll be updating them really quickly – probably two-three more later this evening. Yes, I could probably put them all in one chapter, but I want to stick with my pattern of one letter per chapter.

Updated 1/25 2:30 pm (second letter today)

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>September, 1917<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_We were wrong. This passage – it isn't safe at all. It's taken us weeks just to reach the wall itself and now… now we can't find a way through. There are soldiers everywhere. We're hiding. All we can do is hide and move just a little bit at a time. We take turns keeping watch when we get too tired to go on, but I don't think any of us are getting any real sleep. _

_We've discussed going back… even if we get through the wall, we'll still have to face the armies on the other side. It might be safer just to try and get back to the mountains. I don't want to though. We've made it this far! We can't turn around now! I just want to go home._

_We'll be fine. We'll make it. We'll find a way. I won't let it end here._

_-Al_


	23. I promise

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Not out of the water yet. Stay tuned.

Updated 1/25 8pm (third chapter today)

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em>Dear Brother,<em>

_I'm scared._

_I'll admit it now. I'm terrified. They captured us once already. We only managed to get away through sheer dumb luck and a bit of creative alkahestry. But they're looking for us now. We couldn't go back the other way if we tried._

_I'm starting to think that this was a mistake. We could have waited. We could have hidden out in the mountains for months – years even, if we had to. I'm the one who pushed to try for Amestris. I'm the one who just wanted to go home. And now… we might not make it at all. _

_We're all hurt and tired and hungry and running out of options._

_And I'm scared – not of dying really. But I'm scared of what death will mean. If I die... I won't get to see you again. And worse – you'll never know what happened to me. May and Dr. Marcoh both know – if I don't make it out of here and they do, they'll bring you the letters. _

_May tells me not to think like that but I have to have some kind of assurance because, even though none of us wants to say it, we all know. This might be our last day – or tomorrow – or the next. And there's still so much left undone – things I never got to say to Winry or Granny Pinako, even Colonel Mustang and the team. But mostly you. And there just isn't time to put them in a letter now._

_I don't want to think like this. We're still alive. That's what matters right now. Right? Every day we just have to keep pressing forward. We made it through the Wall. If we can just get out to the desert, we'll be safe._

_But I know… I know there's a chance that none of us will make it. And then what? Will you spend the rest of your life searching for me? Waiting? Wondering? I don't want that for you, Brother. Please. Please don't waste your life, trying to find me. I know this isn't what we wanted. This isn't how it was supposed to go. I just… _

_No._

_I'm not giving up. Not yet. I'll keep trying, Brother. _

_I promise._


	24. I'm sorry

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Updated 1/25 8:30pm (fourth chapter today)

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em>Brother – <em>

_I'm sorry_

_I can't keep my promise_

_I love you, Brother_

_-Al_


	25. Winter, 1917

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Wow… that last um… note (wasn't really a letter, I'll admit) got some of the best reviews ever. You guys are awesome. I was laughing so hard reading them. Let's just throw the fourth wall right out of the window and admit, yes! We all know he survives because he's in the other story but darn you! He'd better survive!

Still, hopeless situation is hopeless. Will they make it out in time? How ever will they survive? And the worst part… what exactly is going on?! Well… read and find out.

Updated 1/25 1pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>Winter, 1917<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Brother, Brother, Brother! It feels so good to write it again because I thought for sure I wouldn't get another chance to. _

_We made it, Brother! We made it out of Xing! We were several kilometers out into the desert before we realized that they weren't chasing us anymore. We all just stopped, unable to go any further, but trying to coax each other on at the same time and then we looked back and realized how quiet it was and how far away the wall was and the armies were little more than a grey smudge near the base and we were safe! _

_We're safe, Brother! We're alive! A little worse for wear I'll admit but still breathing and laughing and smiling and… screaming because… well I'm not sure I should tell you this because you'll probably be mad at me for it but I've discovered that the ricochet effect doesn't work as well without the armor. Sorry, dumb joke. But, yeah… I got shot. It's not that bad, really. The bullet lodged in my left shoulder. But it didn't stop me from running. Beyond the initial shock of getting hit, I didn't really feel it until we stopped. I guess the adrenaline blocked out the pain. Now though… it really hurts. Hurt worse when Dr. Marcoh dug the bullet out though. And May used alkahestry to seal it up but I can still feel it. The muscles in my arm keep twitching and I get sudden spasms in my shoulder because the nerves are still settling from the trauma. _

_I don't really mind though. It's a small thing – just a little bit of pain. The important thing is that we all made it out alive. Thinking back on it now… it'd probably make an amazing story. I didn't really get a chance to explain everything in my last letters. I'll try to write it all now. We have time. We're resting a bit near the travelers well. It's the last place to get water before we cross the desert, unless we pass through Xerses; we probably will. We don't have enough canteens to carry water for the whole trip. We have to go on foot this time – no smelly camels – so it's going to take awhile. We're also stocking up on lizard meat… not the most appetizing food in the world but we can't exactly go back for travel rations. The lizards are pretty big and if we cut the meat into strips and lay it out on rocks to dry it makes an almost palatable jerky. We're also collecting cactus fruit. It won't be a lot and we'll probably lose a few more pounds on this journey, but it'll be worth it once we get to Amestris. I can already imagine the stew and the quiche and the pie!_

_Anyway… the story, right. I'll leave out the more graphic details. There's a lot that I wish I could block from my own mind. I certainly don't want to write about it._

_I already told you that there was this passage which was supposed to be almost safe. We heard about it from several sources and it seemed like a good plan. Most of it was underground – through the sewers, passing right under the feet of the still battling soldiers. Unfortunately, there weren't any maps and the sewers twisted about in several directions, making it difficult to find the most direct path. Also, several tunnels had collapsed in the fighting, forcing us to make detours. _

_The sewers smelled horrible. It wasn't just the usual filth and runoff. The metallic scent of blood was everywhere. We wrapped scarves around our mouths and noses to keep from inhaling too much and tried our best not to think about what we might be sludging through in the dark._

_Three times on that journey, we encountered scouts from the armies above. They apparently knew about the tunnels and were there to stop people like us from trying to escape – probably not their top priority but still among the many designated jobs which the soldiers were assigned. Luckily, a few scouts weren't too much trouble for us. May took care of most of them herself – still being the fastest at drawing transmutation circles. I still can't figure out how to draw a perfect circle with my foot and I might as well forget about throwing daggers. I'll admit, there are times that old clapping trick would have really come in handy. _

_May is amazing though. Despite everything she's gone through in the past two years, despite her sorrow and depression, she was able to push through and do what she needed to do with the sort of confidence and strength I've seen from Lieutenant Hawkeye in the past. It was beautiful really. Like a dance._

_Unfortunately, the sewers could only get us so far. It looked like the last tunnels had been collapsed on purpose, forcing us to move to the surface and face the armies. That's when things started looking hopeless. Three people could move pretty well in the dark, dodging from place to place under the cover of night. During the day, we could only wait and stay silent and hope that we wouldn't be found. There were many close calls and a few more battles. We were bruised and battered by the time we reached the wall, only to find that there was no obvious way to get through._

_It seemed like there was only one option – open a door using alchemy. I could draw the circle and Dr. Marcoh would activate it. The only problem with that plan was… there was no way to know what was waiting for us on the other side. Sure, alkahestry could give us glimpses. We could feel the movement of the armies beyond the wall and it wasn't hard to choose a place which wasn't as closely guarded. But there was no way to know if a place wasn't being watched – if the armies weren't prepared to swoop down upon us the moment we passed through. _

_Plus… alchemy isn't exactly subtle. The ideal would have been to move at night, when we could slip pasted the armies unseen. But, the alchemic lightning would have given away our position immediately. So we had to risk the daylight. _

_Well… we got through the wall. But we were seen almost immediately. That's when we were captured. I thought for sure that we would be killed on the spot but the commanding officer seemed a bit confused. I think it was my eyes which baffled him although he never really said. He wanted to know who we were – me especially since I was so obviously not Xingese. Dr. Marcoh's scars… I guess I never told you about his scars. Scar messed up his face really badly back in Amestris to keep him from being recognized by the homunculi. Not that it matters much now. I doubt they're still looking for him. Anyway, Dr. Marcoh's scars made it difficult to tell where he came from and the officer just wanted to know about me. He didn't pay any attention to May either, although I wonder how he would have reacted had he known she was the princess of the Chang Clan. _

_It wasn't too hard to keep the man confused. We were lucky that he wasn't a particularly intelligent man. I told him an elaborate story which wasn't at all true. I can't even remember it now since I was just making it up as I went along but he was completely enthralled and it gave May enough time to set up a subtle transmutation which knocked the man out cold before he even knew what hit him. _

_Then we ran. What else could we do? We ran and ducked into the first hiding spot we could find. Then we waited. For three days, we didn't move at all. They were everywhere. I just kept thinking – we're so close. It can't end now. It can't._

_But we were stuck – trapped inside an old truck, half buried in the sand, which no one had bothered to check… yet. We could hear them outside and we knew that it was only a matter of time before we were found and killed._

_It was in a moment of desperation, perhaps, that I decided what needed to be done. And I know you're not going to like this, Brother. But I need to tell you anyway. You can hit me for it later. _

_Someone was going to have to provide a distraction so that the others could escape… and that someone was going to have to be me. I wasn't about to sacrifice May or Dr. Marcoh. They argued with me of course – in hushed voices. But I knew it had to be me. I had promised to protect May. When I mentioned my promise to Master Lao, she stopped arguing. Dr. Marcoh volunteered himself of course – citing his age and the fact that he had lived a long life – but his age was exactly the reason why he couldn't do it. I'm faster and stronger. I could provide the biggest distraction and lead the soldiers away, giving May and Dr. Marcoh the best chance to get away._

_It was while we were still arguing that we heard a solider approaching. There wasn't any more time. I wrote my last note to you and shoved my pack into May's hands, knowing that she would get my letters to you. It was time. The soldier was close. I couldn't let him find them._

_I came out of the truck, ready for a fight and found myself face to face with a young man, about my age, too young to be a soldier. His gun was pointed at me but he wasn't firing. His eyes were sad and… kind. That man – that boy – he didn't want to be there. He didn't want to do those things. I saw myself in his eyes. _

_Then he lowered his gun. _

"_Go." He said. "Take your friends a go."_

_I couldn't believe it. He was giving us a chance – not a big one, but a chance. He nodded towards the open expanse behind me and I looked. It was clear. I could see the desert, stars twinkling endlessly in the open sky above – and not a solider blocking our path. We could make it – if we ran – we could make it and we'd be safe. All because of this one, kind soul._

"_Thank you." I said. _

_Then I ushered May and Dr. Marcoh from the truck and we ran – faster than we've ever run before. At some point we were spotted. They started firing at us, but a few quick transmutations brought walls up to block the bullets – most of them anyway. _

_And then… well I've already written the rest. We made it. _

_I'll never forget that young man. He saved us. He didn't have to, but he did. I'll never be able to repay him but I will always remember._

_It's hard to believe its winter already. Out here in the desert – it's still so hot during the day. We'll be traveling at night for the most part – if only to keep warm. I'm not sure what the date is or just how long it will take to reach Amestris, but there's nothing standing in our way anymore – nothing between us but a giant sandbox. _

_It feels so good to be alive and to know that finally, _finally_ – I'm almost home._

_-Al_


	26. Winter, 1918?

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>I was very much tempted to jump straight to Amestris, but really – Al wouldn't stop in Xerxes and not write home about it.

Updated 1/26 9pm (second chapter today)

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>Winter, 1918?<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Xerxes is amazing! I never knew that exploring ruins could be so much fun. I can't believe you didn't tell me about all of this when you went. Honestly, you only mentioned a few things. I did find that transmutation circle you mentioned though. I only wish there was more time to study it. _

_As it is, I find myself torn between the alchemic and archeological significance of this place. So much of the city is buried but from what I've seen here on the surface, there is so much we could learn about and from the Xerxesian people just by uncovering their world. I've never really considered studying archeology before – Amestris isn't really old enough to have sites like this – but boy am I tempted now._

_If I wasn't so eager to get home – I'd probably stay here for a few months just to see what I can learn. We're staying for three days as it is because we need to rest. Walking through sand is exhausting. It feels like we're going nowhere at times. It took a whole week before we could no longer see the wall of Xing behind us. And the ruins of Xerxes appeared, off to the right a bit, over four days ago. We had to make a detour from our direct course to reach it. _

_We've been following the setting sun – which is interesting since we travel mostly at night. We head due west when we start out and if the sun is behind us in the morning, we know we've kept our course. It'd be nice if one of us knew how to navigate by the stars. I guess that's something else to add to all of the things I want to learn._

_Anyway – I wish I knew what happened here. Did the people of the city really just vanish over night? What could have caused something like that? What happened to them? Did they leave? Was there some sort of catastrophic event? A natural disaster? An invasion? Or was it something else entirely?_

_I suppose we'll never know for sure although someone might come close to an answer if this area is every studied more thoroughly. Of course, an excavation of this scale would take some serious funding. We could always use alchemy to help move the sand – but it would need to be very precise. We'd probably need a specialist trained specifically for this kind of work, especially since you can't draw transmutation circles on sand._

_Wow… I'm writing all this like I'm the one who's going to head the expedition. Well, maybe someday. I'll need to raise a lot of money first and that means getting home and finding a job and probably just settling down for a while. I think I've done enough traveling for now. I'll give it a few years at least. Maybe you and I can come back and tackle this project together. _

_I know you mentioned before that there were Ishvalans living here at one point, but they seem to have moved on. We haven't seen anyone so far. The place is empty and quiet. _

_Dr. Marcoh is excited to be returning home. He seems livelier than he did in Xing – keeps mentioning a cottage by a lake. I guess it was his family home or something and he wants to go back there and retire once he's used up the last of the stone._

_We've discussed some ideas about that. I want to be sure that it is only used to help people – specifically those people whose injuries or illnesses were not their own fault. You and I both know that we have to learn from our mistakes and either live with the consequences or find a way to fix them on our own. But sometimes people suffer for no reason at all or because they were trying to do good and were hurt in doing so. Those are the people I want to help and Dr. Marcoh has agreed to my terms. _

_One person I thought of right away was Lieutenant Havoc. I know how much it hurt him to have to leave the military due to his injury. I think it hurt Colonel Mustang a lot too – to lose one of his men. I've never seen Colonel Mustang so furious as he was the day that Lust attacked us. He had a single minded determination to stop the homunculus and save his people – despite his own injuries. _

_Anyway, I'd like to see Lieutenant Havoc get another chance. He's a good man and a loyal friend. The Colonel needs men like him by his side if he's going to reach the top. I haven't forgotten what you told me about the Colonel's plan. I don't know who is leading Amestris right now, but I certainly hope the Colonel is still reaching for that goal. We need someone like him at the top – someone who actually cares about the people he is protecting, who fights for them even at great cost to himself, who would cut transmutation circles into his hands and burn his own wounds closed just to keep going, to keep fighting. _

_I know you and the Colonel don't really get along, but I think you've seen it as much as I have. How, behind that smug and cold exterior, there is a fire inside that man which has nothing to do with alchemy. He reached out to us, Brother. He saw us at our worst and, instead of turning us in and destroying us even further, he gave us a chance to fix things – even if it was a bit self serving on his part. And I think, after all the time you spent in his office, driving him completely crazy, he actually came to care about you a great deal._

_Not that he'd ever admit it – or that you'd accept it. But I know you respect him. You can deny it all you want. I know you better than that, Brother. I'm even tempted to say that you've come to think of him as something like a father. You can smack me all you want for that. It's true. And I'm pretty sure that he sees you as something like a son. Maybe me too – I'm not as sure about that but there were times… a few that I can remember, when he said something or looked at me in a certain way which made me pause and wonder. _

_We have a lot to thank him for though. That much I do know. And I'll make sure we do, even if I have to drag you, kicking and screaming, all the way to Central. I want to see the rest of the team as well, anyway. And Mrs. Hughes and Elicia. Even Major Armstrong. So many people have helped us and I don't think we can ever fully repay them. I want to try though. Equivalent exchange isn't even enough. I want to do more. I want to find a way to give of myself without expecting anything in return. Because, that's what they did for us, isn't it? So much… _

_Yeah… soon. _

_I'd better rest up some more. Even with alkahestry, I can't keep the blisters from forming on my feet. Stupid sand. It'll be nice to see something green again._

_-Al_


	27. March 2, 1918

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Alright, so – ages. I just want to clarify for you all because I had trouble keeping it straight in my own head. When the Elric brothers were last together, Ed was 15 and Al was 14. Ed's birthday (before his transformation and adoption) was in February (which is what I've seen listed most often though nothing really specifies… also I think I got the date wrong because it's listed as Feb. 3rd but I used 2nd earlier… oh well. It's an AU anyway). I've placed Al's birthday in June – not completely arbitrary. See, it doesn't make sense for them to be exactly one year apart. Pregnancies don't really work like that. There's like… time in between for nursing and for natural cycles to resume their regular pacing plus nine months gestation. So I've made Al sixteen months younger than Ed which is only one month less than my own brother and I are apart.

Anyway, it was November when the boys were separated. Al wrote his first letter on Ed's sixteenth birthday – because Al is sweet that way. Three more February's have passed since then. Ed would now be nineteen had he not been turned into a baby. Al is seventeen still but will be eighteen in June. May is a little less than two years younger than Al. She just turned sixteen. Let's say her birthday is… at the end of February. Yeah, I'm gonna go with that. Woot!

Oh, and little Ed just turned three with his January birthday although he's technically a bit closer to three and a half now since his transformation was in November and it is now March.

Updated 1/27 10pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>March 2, 1918<strong>_

_Amestris! Amestris! _

_No matter where I roam_

_The bright lands of Amestris_

_Will always be my home._

_Dear Brother,_

_Never before have I felt particularly inclined to sing the Amestris national anthem of my own free will. I remember learning it with you in grade school and how you used to roll your eyes every time the teacher made us stand up to sing. I remember thinking the melody was pretty but the words didn't really fit the image we had of our country – especially while the Eastern Conflict was going on. But when Dr. Marcoh burst into song shortly after we crossed the border, I couldn't help but join in. _

_We're home, Brother! Okay so, Posterim isn't really home for either me or Dr. Marcoh but at least we're on Amestrian soil again. No more desert sand and lizard jerky! We had a real meal tonight. It felt like a feast even though it was just pot roast and potatoes from the local tavern. Xingese food was alright but this is what I've missed – mmm… gravy! That apple pie is still calling my name though – someone had better have one ready for me when I get back._

_We were lucky to be traveling with Dr. Marcoh. He has a large savings account with the Bank of Amestris and was able to make a withdrawal – enough to buy food and lodging and train tickets and, most importantly, clothes. I've been wearing the same outfit since well before we left Xing and, not only were they thread bare from being worn and washed so many times, but they smell awful! I'm not just talking sweat and dirt either… those are the same clothes I wore in the sewers! It was easy enough to get over it and even get used to the smell when we really had no other option but now that we do… I think I might just have to burn them. Where's Colonel Mustang when I need him?_

_Anyway, new clothes and – I finally got to take a shower! It feels so good to be clean again. Dousing myself with water at the Traveler's Well and in Xerxes doesn't count. Soap and hot water – that's what I needed. And fluffy hotel towels too! Also! A real bed! With pillows!_

_Let's just say that I'm re-appreciating all of the things which I told myself I would never take for granted again after the armor. _

_Anyway, I want to write about our plans for the next few days. We'll be saying goodbye to Dr. Marcoh tomorrow. I'm sorry to see him go but he has his own places to visit and people to see. And of course he'll be searching for good ways to use the stone. He's promised to seek out Lieutenant Havoc to see if anything can be done for him. He's also given me an address which I can write to him at, so we'll keep in contact. _

_May has agreed to continue traveling with me for now. It took a little convincing. She seemed very unsure when we got here. Actually, she's been a bit down ever since we left Xerxes. I guess it finally sunk in for her that the place Dr. Marcoh and I were so excited about reaching was not where she really wanted to be. Amestris isn't her home. But there's nothing left for her in Xing. _

_At first, she suggested that she make her own way and leave me to find you on my own. She said that she didn't want to get in the way or interrupt our reunion. But that's completely foolish. First of all – where would she go? She has no family here, no one to set her up with a job and help her get settled. She needs someone and right now, Dr. Marcoh and I are her only options. Secondly – I made a promise to protect her and that promise isn't gone just because we're in Amestris now. It's my duty to protect her and keep her safe – so that's what I'm going to do. _

_She… kind of stopped arguing after I told her that. Well, it was more like she blushed like a tomato again and then locked herself in the bathroom for half an hour. It was actually kind of cute._

_So… I'm thinking, Brother… and I know we're going to talk about this soon but I just want to get my thoughts on it all down now. I'm thinking that I'm going to go ahead and ask May to marry me. Not _right_ away – but soon…ish. I mean, I'll be eighteen in June. That's not too young really. And it's not like we'd get married right away or anything. She's… only sixteen so… we'd probably have a long engagement anyway. I just… I want to give her something to hope for again. I'm tired of seeing that darkness in her eyes. She's so sad right now. But she deserves to be happy and I want to make that happen._

_Plus… well, I think I really am in love with her. After everything we've been through together – I've seen her good sides and bad sides and I think she's seen all of mine as well. We're good together. She brings out the best in me, I think. And I want to take care of her. It's not a mushy, romantic kind of love but it's strong and it compels me to keep her close. _

_Anyway – I'm sure you'll have a lot to say on the matter when you read this. You'll probably tease me for a few hours but then I hope you'll think about it seriously and give me your honest opinion. That's what brothers are for, right?_

_So… I guess this is it – my last letter. I'll be going to Central tomorrow and I'll ask Colonel Mustang where I can find you because, if you're not in Resembool, I'm sure he'll know best where you are. You're probably out looking for me which means I'll have to track you down. But for all I know, you could be back in Central right now and I'll be seeing you tomorrow. _

_That seems like such a crazy thing. It's been over three years. It's been a long and hard journey. But it's finally over. I'm finally home. _

_I'll see you soon, Brother._

_-Al_


	28. March 29, 1918

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Ugh for plot holes! I can't fill them in faster than they reappear. WingsofGreen reminded me that Ross is still in Xing – right, can't forget about her. Though I probably had this worked out when I wrote the Ross chapter of _ABNE_ (goes back quickly to try and remind self and/or make up something new). Okay… so I did put something back in Chapter 20 explaining that Brosh traveled to Xing with a diplomatic envoy just after the Bradley assassination. We're going to say this happened _before_ the border was closed in March, 1915. Clearly diplomacy failed but did not prevent Brosh from finding his bride. Al was in a different province and so they never crossed paths.

So, Dr. Macoh - really the only reason he had any significant part to play in this story is because of Havoc. Actually, Havoc is the only reason Al ended up with the philosopher's stone in the first place. See – sometime early in writing _ABNE_, I realized that I had a big plot hole preventing Havoc from returning from the team. I couldn't have that so… yeah – you see what I did there.

For everyone who wants Ling to save Xing... he's still in Amestris arguing with Greed remember?

Okay – anything else unclear that I might have to fudge in the future to make some sort of sense out of?

Woot! We finally made it to the letter you've all been waiting for!

Updated 1/28 10pm

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>March 29, 1918<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I've been… hesitant to begin writing again. You see, I didn't think I would have any reason to write you another letter. But… things didn't really turn out the way I thought they would – or rather – things have been different for a long time and I just didn't know. Well… I know now. I'm just not really sure what to do about it._

_When I got to Central, I went straight to headquarters hoping to catch Colonel Mustang early. I wanted to be able to catch another train that day, if it had turned out you were in Resembool or somewhere else. Anyway… Colonel Mustang wasn't there. Someone told me he was getting married that afternoon – to Lieutenant Hawkeye! As happy as I was to hear that, I really didn't want to delay finding you. So I went to the Colonel's house. I still remembered where it was from that one time – you remember. Or… well… I guess you don't._

_When I got to the house, I thought maybe I had the wrong place. There was a swing hanging from the tree in the front yard. I thought the Colonel might have moved. But then I saw a little boy sitting on the front porch and… I must have stared for several minutes before I moved. I actually don't remember moving but I must have because then I was sitting on the porch as well – next to him…_

_Next to you. _

_I knew it was you. It couldn't have been anyone else. When those eyes looked up at me – I knew. And I think I was in shock for awhile. My mind flew back to the night we were separated – to what the Truth said to me about you being different. And… it actually made a lot of sense. _

_I mean it's crazy – but I should have seen something like this coming! He said you'd be different but all I was really concerned about was that you'd be alive. I didn't think about the rest! Heck, I didn't even think about your arm and leg. I feel like such an idiot. I should have specified those things or… something! I dunno – maybe it wouldn't have worked if I had been more specific but I just feel so guilty. This all my fault. You gave me back everything and all I managed to do was erase nearly sixteen years from your life. _

_You… you were a baby weren't you? All alone in the train depot and I couldn't even get to you. How long did you lay there before someone found you? _

_To think, all this time I've been expecting to come home to my older brother and just pick up where we left off. Now… you're three years old! A toddler – wobbling around on a fake leg and lugging a practically useless arm! How is that even fair?! How is this equivalent?!_

_See, this is why I haven't written yet. I've been all over the place lately. I can't keep any of my thoughts straight. I thought writing them down might help but apparently not. May has been so patient putting up with my moods – and I've never been considered the moody one so this is really weird for me._

_Anyway, I spoke to you… briefly. It was pretty clear right away that you had no idea who I was and that… that hurt – a lot. More than a lot. How can come home to a brother who doesn't even know me? _

_That's selfish. I need to stop thinking about myself. You're the one who had your whole life ripped away from you._

_Not that you would know. You're completely oblivious to it – to everything. But maybe that's a good thing. You don't remember me but… you also don't remember Mom. You don't remember how she died and how we tried to bring her back. You don't remember losing your limbs or getting automail. You don't remember all of the times you were seriously injured during our travels. You don't remember Nina… or Mr. Hughes… or any of those other painful things. _

_And what's more… you're happy. I think that's what really struck me. You were smiling and giggling – I don't think I've ever heard you giggle before, not since before I can remember. And your eyes were shining in a way I haven't seen them shine since before Mom died. And you just kept going on about how excited you were that your daddy was getting married and that you were going to have a real mommy. _

_I'm not really sure when it was that I realized that the father you were referring to was Colonel Mustang. That was… somewhat amazing all by itself. I guess… he adopted you? It's unexpected to say the least but I can't say that I'm unhappy about it. I mean… at least you had someone. You weren't alone all these years. He was there when I couldn't be. I suppose I should be thankful but I'm really kind of jealous right now. Not that he's your father – I don't ever think I could bring myself to fill that role. Not for you – it wouldn't be right. But I'm jealous because I could tell right away that he's the most important person in your life now and I… I'm just a stranger. _

_But you're happy! Happier than I've seen you in ages and… it was beautiful somehow, but also heartbreaking. _

_I ran away. I didn't know what else to do. It hurt too much to see you there – smiling at me and so oblivious to everything. And then I heard Colonel Mustang calling from inside the house and I knew he was about to come outside and I just… I panicked. _

_I wasn't ready to face him and… well I couldn't really. Not then. It was his wedding day. With the way things are – you being his son – there's no way my arrival wouldn't have interrupted everything. I don't really want to know how Lieutenant Hawkeye deals with wedding crashers._

_Besides… I needed time to think, to sort things out, to just let it soak in. I needed to figure out what I was going to do next. Except… it's been three weeks now and… I still haven't got a clue how I should handle this. _

_On the one hand – you're my brother. We're related by blood and I'm pretty sure that gives me the right to claim you – or it will once I turn eighteen. Colonel Mustang knows that I am your only family and you're mine. He can't keep you from me. I don't think he would anyway. I don't think he'd just let you go either though. I mean, you've been his son for three years, right? More likely… he'd probably want to set up some kind of joint custody? But I don't really want that. I don't want to be a parental figure for you. You're my brother!_

_Or… maybe the Colonel would even want me to join the family… But I don't think I'd feel right doing that. I mean… I'm not a child anymore. I can't really be adopted and I'm not sure I'd want to be even if it was offered. It's not my place. I don't belong there. And…_

_I'm not entirely sure that I belong with you anymore. You… you have a family – a father who loves you and... a new mother too. You love them and they love you. You're happy there. I can't take you away from that. It's all we ever wanted – a real family. How can I deny you the one thing we've both wanted for so long?_

_You don't know me. If I came into your life now… I'd be like an older brother I guess – much older. And you would never know me the way you used to know me. We would never be close the way we once were. We wouldn't have all of those shared experiences binding us together. And… I would never be able to tell you – at least not until you were much older, old enough to understand. And what would you think then? Probably that I'm crazy. _

_Until then… I'd have to live a lie. I'd have to pretend to be the person you would see me as now and I could never just be me with you. I don't want to be your older brother! You've always been older! I just can't accept it this way – it's too hard!_

_What do I do, Brother? I just wanted to see you again but now that I have… I don't know what to do anymore. You're so different. There was so much I wanted to tell you – so much I wanted to ask. Those conversations will never happen now. These letters… they're meaningless. If you can never read them – read them and understand – then what was the point of me writing to begin with?_

_Ugh! I'm whining again! This doesn't help me – or you, or anyone. I'm no closer to figuring out what to do than I was when I started writing. _

_The funds that Dr. Marcoh gave us are running low. May and I need to find jobs soon or… something. Hiding out here in Central isn't getting us anywhere. We've got to… stand up and walk forward, right? No more pity parties. I need to make a decision and go with it. _

_I just wish… I wish things could finally be simple for once. I thought my journey was over but it feels like a new one is just beginning and I haven't got a clue where it's going to take me._

_By the way – you're really cute, Brother. You've got these big dimples and chubby cheeks and your hair still has that stupid cowlick. You're so tiny – sorry, but it's true. You can't really complain about being small when you're three though. All kids are small at that age. And you seem to be doing pretty well with the prosthetics – it's not automail but I guess it works for you. When I saw you – you were wearing this adorable little suit – bow tie and everything – and trying so hard to sit still so that it wouldn't wrinkle. _

_I think… I think it might be best for me to stay away for now. You just got a new mom. Your life is already changing a lot and… I don't want to mess things up for you – not when you're so happy. I need to figure out my own life too and I can't do that if I'm busy learning how to be a big brother – when all I want is to be your little brother again. _

_I won't stay away forever. I just need time and I think you need some too – time to grow and be happy and loved and cared for… time to have that perfect childhood we never really got to have. I do want that for you, Brother. You deserve it. You deserve to be happy. _

_When I do come back… maybe by then you'll be old enough to understand the story I want to tell you – It's a story about two brothers who lost everything but never gave up. They kept fighting to fix their mistakes and to help those in need. _

_That's right! I'm supposed to go out and help people now. That's why I learned alkahestry. I have a lot to do still, Brother. I had hoped to do some of it at your side but since that's not possible right now… I guess I'll just have to keep writing these letters. _

_Someday… someday you'll get to read them – even if you don't really know what they mean or why I wrote them for you. At least then you'll know a little bit about me. And hopefully I'll get the chance to know you again. _

_Just know – it doesn't matter that you're younger now or that I'm older or that we're living completely separate lives. No matter where I go or what I do – you will always be my big brother._

_-Al_


	29. 1918 - 1919

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Now that the main part of Al's journey is over, I've decided to go ahead and write multiple shorter letters for each chapter. Mostly, I'm going to touch on those really important moments in his life and then throw in some others just for fun or drama.

I put up a poll on my profile (because I've never done that before and wanted to try it out) giving you guys the chance to have some input on which Infinite Possibility you want to see next. I'm also trying to come up with more ideas for _Home_ so if you have a prompt you'd like to see written, let me know and I'll see what my muse can do with it.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>July 4, 1918<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Things have been going fairly well since I left Central. May and I weren't sure where to go at first. I thought about going back to Resembool – I do miss Winry and Granny Pinako after all. It was another hard decision though. I don't know how much they know about your… situation but I know what they would tell me if they saw me. _

"_Go back to your brother." That's what they'd say. And maybe they'd be right. I've second guessed myself enough times over the past few months. I really don't need the extra pressure to break my resolve. They wouldn't understand my reasons. I don't even understand them some days. There are times I just want to hop the next train back to Central and stay with you._

_But if I do that… well I doubt I'd be able to convince myself to leave again so that I can do all of the things I promised myself I would do. I'd be creating a messy situation in your life – which I really want to avoid doing. And I'd get myself stuck there. I know that you wouldn't want me to put my life and my goals on hold waiting for you to grow up. You'd probably beat me up for even considering it._

_We move forward. That's what we've always done. We don't let ourselves get stuck in one place. And, as much as I miss Winry and Granny Pinako… if I go back to Resembool, I'll probably get stuck there too. Because they wouldn't want me to leave unless I was going back to you and, once I see them, I don't think I'll be able to make myself leave either. _

_Plus… we were supposed to go home together. It just wouldn't feel right, going back without you._

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>October 17, 1918<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_My business is finally taking off. After months of doing odd jobs in every town we came to, May and I are now – officially – traveling alkahestric healers. Of course, most people don't know what that means. They just call us doctors. Oh well. _

_It actually pays pretty well – despite the fact that we don't expressly charge for our services. The point is to help people. So we go from place to place and ask people to give what can – what they believe our help to be worth. For some, it's a meal or a place to stay the night – and that's more than enough to make helping those families worth it. But the rich are actually quite generous when it comes to their health and to the health of their loved ones. We're saving quite a bit of money and, once we find a town we like, we'll buy ourselves a house and set up a home base we can travel out from. _

_Speaking of which… I'll be needing to actually propose to May before then. We've talked about it a bit… but we still have time. And… can you blame me if I'm nervous? Not that she won't say yes – just… it's a big deal, you know? _

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>February 29, 1919<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm engaged! Wow… it's kind of weird to see it written down like that. Makes it a little more real. _

_I, um… I proposed on her birthday. I planned it out really nice – found a place near this lake that had all of these big stones. It reminded me of the rock gardens in Xing. So I prettied it up and added some decorations to make it look even more so. And then I brought her out there for a picnic. _

_She was so surprised. I haven't seen her smile that much in a long time. We had a beautiful evening and then… well I pulled out the ring. It isn't anything huge or spectacular. It has a tiny flower on it – like a lily – with a jade stone in the center. Anyway, she didn't get it at first. Oh, she thought the ring was beautiful but she didn't realize what it meant. I guess they don't have engagement rings in Xing. _

_I started laughing when I realized that she didn't understand and then she got mad because she thought I was making fun of her. She was standing there, screaming at me. Even Shao May was screaming and I didn't know pandas _could_ scream. And I was still laughing so hard because it was all so ridiculous. And then… I kissed her._

_That's kind of weird for me to put in a letter to my brother, isn't it? Oh well… um… after that I explained what the ring was for and I asked her straight out if she would marry me._

_She said yes, obviously. So… I guess I'll be getting married soon-ish. No rush. I think May wants to wait until she turns eighteen and we still don't have enough money for the house. I kind of splurged a bit for the ring so that's partially my fault. But I don't think she minds too much. It was enough for me just to see her smiling all night long. And, for the first time since long before we left Xing, she slept without any nightmares. _

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 16, 1919<strong>_

_Dear Brother, _

_I miss you. I miss you so much. I noticed the date today and I realized… it's been five years since I got my body back – five years since you got turned into a baby. I guess you're five years old now – or… well you probably don't celebrate your birthday on November 16__th__, do you? _

_Ugh… what am I doing?! I should be there with you. This is crazy. I'm crazy. You know what, Brother? The whole world is crazy!_

_I mean, what were we thinking? Alchemy? Human transmutation? Humonculuseses? Is that too many eses? And what kind of crazy person would let a twelve year old join the military! I'm going to have to have a serious talk with Colonel Mustang about that. I was a suit of armor!_

_And seriously! This whole situation is so messed up! I mean – I traded my gate! It was huge! Gigantic! And it had all of that knowledge and stuff inside. It should have been enough to fix things right! Why did you have to be a baby? Truth should have known better! He's smarter than that, right? _

_What if he's NOT! What if – what if, Brother – what it WE'RE the smart ones? What if we knew all along and then he came and went POOF! And messed everything up. It's his fault, you know? He's the reason that the kittens turned into pudding. He's the reason my feet went clunk in that suit of armor. Speaking of which – have you seen my head? I think someone took my head again. I can't find it anywhere! I don't like it when people take my head. It's not my fault it comes off._

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 17, 1919<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Don't ever let me drink when I'm alone and depressed. Alcohol doesn't fix things. It just makes me lose my head – and I'm not talking about the helmet this time. I'm… really tempted to burn that last letter but May says I should keep it as a reminder. I guess she's right. She's also promised to check the date the next time we have to split up – just to make sure she's not away on one of my bad nights again. _

_My head hurts… but May says I'm not allowed to use alkahestry to cure my hangover. That's part of the lesson. Never. Drinking. That much. Again._

_-Al_


	30. 1920-1921

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Moving along much faster now. Big events coming up in Al's life. But his world isn't all rainbows and butterflies. Whose life is?

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>April 10, 1920<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Something interesting happened the other day. We ran into a group of travelers – a rather large group actually. And it wouldn't have been so incredible – we've met other traveling groups before – except that they were all from Xing. May was thrilled. I had to quickly refresh my Xingese, although most of them have learned Amestrian so communication wasn't a problem at all. _

_They are refugees – many having escaped before the war and others since things started to settle over there. There is still a lot of fighting going on but the Fa clan has gained control of the throne and most of the country. The people who came here, once the desertion laws were lifted, are those whose homes were destroyed and are tired of war and death. They have little left in Xing and want some peace. _

_It's kind of amazing that, compared to Xing, Amestris is considered a peaceful country right now. But then, Fuhrer Grumman has been doing a pretty good job settling disputes without violence so I guess we have him to thank for that. _

_Most of the people in this little tribe say they will return to Xing someday, when all of the fighting stops. There are about fifty travelers in the group – made up of people from several different clans – and they all seem to get along. I guess it's not surprising since they came here to find peace. They welcomed May and I warmly and were glad to learn of our skills in alkahestry. They have two novices in their number. One is an elderly woman who has little desire to learn more. She uses what she knows to help where she can. The other is a girl – twelve years old – and she has a lot of natural talent but no training. Her name is Ming. _

_May and I have been asked to teach Ming – at least basic healing skills although I have a feeling she is capable of much more – so we are going to be traveling with them for awhile. They move from place to place almost constantly – like nomads – and find work wherever they can, often harvesting and planting for local farms. They seem pretty content with their current lifestyle. They don't want to actually settle down anywhere. When I asked about it, Ming's mother told us that Xing is their home, not Amestris, and so they will not build a house until they can return and rebuild what they have lost. _

_As she was speaking though, I noticed that Ming didn't seem to agree. She didn't actually say anything, but the look in her eyes was defiant – a lot like yours, Brother. She also seems to be drawn to Amestrian culture. She kept asking me questions about it. I find myself wondering if she will follow her mother back to Xing when the time comes._

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>October 23, 1920<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Being a teacher is hard – really hard. I don't know how our Teacher did it. _

_Ming is so stubborn! _

_Things were going really great for awhile. She's a faster learner and she has so much talent. She's been picking things up so quickly. But about a month ago, she up and decided that she doesn't want to study alkahestry anymore. She wants to learn alchemy. She wants to become a State Alchemist._

_This is what I get for telling so many stories about you, Brother_

_Her mother was furious. I could hear the screaming match from the other side of camp. Alkahestry is Xingese. Alchemy is Amestrian. They are Xingese, not Amestrian._

_It went on like that for about an hour before Ming decided to drag me into it. She knows I used to be an alchemist and that I could teach her, if I wanted to. I wouldn't exactly be opposed to it except that her mother is against it and it just doesn't feel right to come between them like that._

_So I told Ming that I would only continue to teach her alkahestry. She fought me on it for awhile but then decided to take what she could get and has continued as my student since then. Except… today I caught her trying out transmutation circles from an old alchemy book – I don't even know where she got it!_

_What was I supposed to do? Her mother said no. I agreed to follow her mother's ruling and as her teacher I couldn't condone her continued study of alchemy behind her mother's back. So I took the book away. _

_She's so mad at me now. May says it's not my fault – that I did the right thing – but I'm not so sure. She's talented and smart and wants to learn, and we're just holding her back. It doesn't seem right. '_

_What if someone had taken our books away? Told us we weren't allowed to learn whatever we wanted? We would've been furious! So I can't really blame her for being mad at me now._

_Of course… if someone had taken our books… maybe we wouldn't have done what we did. We wouldn't have been able to – probably wouldn't have even thought about. We might have been sparred a lot of pain and suffering._

_But Ming isn't us. She doesn't want to do something dangerous. She just wants to learn. She wants to help people. And… she wants to stay here. She loves Amestris. Sure, she was born in Xing and her early years were spent there. But most of what she remembers of Xing is war and death. Her father died in Xing. She hates the whole country and doesn't want to go back. She refuses to even speak the language anymore._

_But her mother, the only family she has left, is a woman grounded in tradition and Xingese culture. I can't stand seeing them fight. But I don't know how to help. I just… don't know what to do._

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>February 28, 1921<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm such a fool. I should have seen this coming but it's too late to do anything about it now. At least… at least it wasn't as bad as it could have been._

_It started last fall. I finally convinced Ming's mother to let me teach her alchemy. It seemed like the only way to make the fighting stop. Ming was going to keep trying to learn alchemy anyway, so it was better to just give her what she wanted. _

_But her mother was never happy with it. Yes, the fighting stopped, but then they stopped speaking altogether. _

_Ming… she didn't care or she didn't seem to at first, anyway. She was just thrilled to be getting what she wanted. I was right in thinking that she would be great. She took to alchemy like you and I did. She loved it. But… no matter what she did… no matter how many alchemic feats she accomplished… it was never good in her mother's eyes. _

_I think… I think that's all she wanted – to hear her mother's approval._

_I guess my big mistake was letting her study on her own. I started taking her with me into towns and letting her look for alchemy books at local libraries while I made my medical rounds. I never imagined that she would find a book about… about that._

_She started acting strangely a few weeks ago – sneaking around, disappearing for hours at a time. We thought… we thought maybe she'd found herself a sweetheart and didn't want to tell anyone. So I left it alone. By the time I realized what she was really up to… _

_I found a list of ingredients – just the elements not the numbers and they weren't in the order I was used to seeing them in. Ming likes to list things alphabetically rather than by amount. So, it took me longer than it should have to figure it out. I just never imagined that she would…_

_I raced to find her and when I did… it was too late. I've been having flashbacks ever since then – to when we tried it. At least there wasn't so much blood this time. _

_It was her father. She said… she said the she wanted to bring him back for her mother… so that her mother would be proud of her… so that she could hear those words. _

_But now she'll never hear them because that's what he took. She's deaf. She lost her hearing because I was too foolish to see what was going on right under my nose!_

_It could have been worse. It could have been so much worse. I can only be thankful that it wasn't. _

_I should have told her, Brother. I should have told her what we did and what it cost us. Maybe then, she wouldn't have. _

_It's my fault. I know that. I've apologized to her mother and discontinued my teaching. Ming… I think she's too frightened to want to do alchemy ever again. I'm not sure she'll go back to alkahestry either. She… she just said that she wants to go back to Xing. She's lost all hope and faith in what she found here. They'll be leaving tomorrow with a few others who have decided to make the journey back to their home country. _

_I failed, Brother. I guess I'm just not meant to be a teacher._

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>September 3, 1921<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm nervous. Like really nervous. And I guess I shouldn't be. I mean, it's not like she's going to leave me standing at the alter or anything. We've been engaged for almost three years now. It's about time, don't you think?_

_So yeah… we, um… we found a house we like – in a little town called Raverk. It reminds me a lot of Resembool – probably because it's not very far away. And… we decided it's time for us to settle down. There's an old monk named Gen among our Xingese friends. He has agreed to perform a traditional Xingese wedding for us. I haven't got a clue what that entails but apparently I don't have to know much beforehand because Gen is going to lead us through all of the steps. _

_I was kind of worried about finding a best man because ideally I'd want you to be my best man but that's just not possible. So I guess I was relieved when they told me Xingese weddings don't have bridal parties. But you're still my best man in spirit, okay?_

_Man… I wish you were here. I could really use a good sparring partner right now to help settle my nerves. A stiff drink might help too. Just one – but I'm not actually allowed to drink before the wedding. _

_Ugh! One hour! That's it. In one hour the wedding will start and then… then I'll be married. _

_Alright, sitting here and writing isn't helping me calm down as much as I thought it would. I'll um… I'll let you know how it goes, okay?_

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>October 7, 1921<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm a married man! It's been over a month now and I think I'm finally getting used to the idea. I'm married. I am a husband and I have a wife._

_By the way – that means you have a sister now. I hope you like her. _

_I know I said that I'd tell you about the wedding but… would you believe me if I said I don't remember a lot of it? I'd probably remember more if it had been anything like the weddings I'm used to – not that I've ever been to an Amestrian wedding before but I've heard enough about them._

_This… this was completely different and I couldn't keep up with half of it. It happened so fast and I spent most of the time staring at May. She was beautiful. That I do remember. She was wearing this gorgeous Xingese style gown… thing – it wasn't really a dress. More like a multi-layered robe. I can never remember the names for the clothes. You wouldn't know what I meant anyway. It wasn't white either. It was bright and colorful with flowers embroidered on it and jewels sewn into the fabric._

_I don't even where she got it – probably from one of the other women. It was clearly some sort of heirloom. But she looked every bit the princess that she is. _

_I had a fancy robe on too – borrowed from one of the men – but I haven't got a clue what mine looked like._

_Anyway, there was an exchange of cups and a lot of bowing and some words that I can't remember at all and then… we were married. And we had a party with music and food and a lot of congratulations which seemed to take forever but was also over way too quickly and then… we went home._

_To our home – our first home anyway. I don't think we'll stay in Raverk forever._

_And… I'm not gonna tell you about the wedding night because… well I'm not. _

_We've settled in well and Reverk is a lovely town. Our Xingese friends have moved on but promised to visit. We've spent the past month exploring a lot of the country side around here and just spending time together. It's different now that we're married. Not a lot different – but still different. _

_I love May. She's wonderful. And – she surprised me today. I came home from doing some shopping in town and discovered the most glorious scent was filling my home. I followed my nose to the kitchen and there on the table was a beautiful apple pie! _

_I can't believe I've gone all this time without having apple pie but she's heard me talk about it often enough and so she asked one of our neighbors to come over and teach her how to make one. If I didn't already love her I would've fallen for her right then and there. _

_And I'm going to describe this to you Brother because I've listened to you describe food to me so many times and I know how much you wanted to get my body back so that I could eat again._

_The pie was hot – so hot it almost burnt my mouth. But so good! The crust was buttery and flaky with just a hint of cinnamon. The filling was rich – the apples sweet and crunchy and perfectly sliced for easy bites, coated in cinnamon and nutmeg and so much else that I couldn't even begin to identify. The whole thing oozed with sticky sweetness and I felt like melting right along with the scoop of ice cream May amazingly thought to put on top of my slice. A la mode – she called it. I guess our neighbor taught her a few more things about cooking then just how to bake a pie. And May seemed to really enjoy herself so I get the feeling that I'll be eating a lot of home cooked foods from now on. _

_So, Brother, can you tell that I'm enjoying married life?_

_-Al _


	31. 1922

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong> Sorry for being two days late with this. I've been getting ready for a retreat I'm helping with at my church - been very busy.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>January 2, 1922<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I think I'm in shock. And really… I shouldn't be. It's not like I didn't know this could happen – that it probably would happen. And it's not like we _weren't _trying. We just weren't… trying-trying. We'd talk about it but it was always kind of a future thing. But I guess the future caught up to us without our realizing it or something – or at least without my realizing it._

_May… May is thrilled and of course she is. Why wouldn't she be? Me... I'm still just trying to wrap my head around it. Oh, when she first told me her speculations and then when we found out for sure, I was jumping about and getting all excited like anyone else would. I mean, it's good news – great actually. We wanted this. _

_It just… doesn't really seem real yet. I mean, it is real. I know that. I felt it myself. I've done the procedure about a dozen times before and really this time it was no different than all the rest. I guess the thing that isn't really clicking is the fact that it's mine._

_Wow… I just re-read all of that and realized that I haven't actually said what I'm talking about._

_May's pregnant. _

_There, I wrote it. That should make it more real, right? But that's not really the part that's not sinking in. I guess what I really should write is:_

_I'm going to be a father._

_Yup… yup that's the part. I think it and I write it and I look at the words and I know what they mean but… what do they mean? _

_I'm going to be a father… someone's dad… someone – a child, a little child – is gonna look up at me one day and call me "daddy" or maybe "papa" or something. And that child is going to be so small and innocent and fragile and need all the love and care in the world and, since I'm the father, it'll be my job to provide those things._

_I can do that… right? _

_I mean, I like children – a lot. I remember Elicia and, well… Nina, although that's a hard example to think about. And I remember the baby we sort of helped deliver in Rush Valley and other kids we met on our travels as well. I remember the children I helped in Xing – the ones I told stories to during the war. So many bright eyes with so much potential just waiting to be called forth. Children are great. _

_And I've always wanted children of my own. I want a big family with lots of smiles and laughter. And that means having children. _

_So why… now that this is actually happening, am I so flabbergasted by the reality of it? Maybe… maybe I didn't really believe it could happen._

_Back when I was still in the suit of armor, there were things that I wanted. I wanted to eat and sleep and feel. But I couldn't have those things and I knew that and I just accepted things the way they were. _

_After I got my body back, there were many times when I found myself completely confused by the sensation of feeling tired or hungry. I would have to remind myself that I wasn't just armor anymore and so I needed to actually eat and sleep. And sometimes I would feel the wind or the rain and just stop, completely confused by what was happening because it couldn't be happening, except it was. It took me awhile to really get used to being human again._

_I guess this is sort of like that. It doesn't feel real yet – the part about me being a father, I mean. _

_The baby part – that's real. That's definitely real. Like I said – I've done the procedure a dozen times. It's a fairly simple method of using alkahestry to sense the life of a child inside of the mother. I can feel everything – down to the tiny fluttering heartbeat. I've always thought it was the coolest alkahestric procedure I've learned. So when May asked me to do it with her… I was surprised at first. She'd apparently been experiencing a lot of the signs of early pregnancy for awhile but hadn't wanted to say anything until she was more sure. _

_She was right though. She's about two months along which means she'll be due in July. When I did the procedure, I felt almost disconnected – like when I do it for other mothers. I looked up at May and said – congratulations, you're going to be a mother. And then it dawned on me that I was congratulating my own wife and… well it all sort of spiraled out of control from there._

_I feel like I'm writing in circles. Goes to show how scrambled my thoughts are right now. May is calling me down for dinner anyway so I'll write again later._

_-Al_

_**May 9, 1922**_

_Dear Brother,_

_Okay, it's definitely real now. That little baby is kicking up a storm in May's belly. She's convinced were having a boy. I'm not so sure though. May has a pretty strong kick herself. One thing is for sure – boy or girl – this kid is going to have a lot of fighting spirit. _

_Is it normal to feel terrified? _

_You know, back in January, it was all so new and mind-boggling – It hadn't really sunk in enough for me to start really worrying. Now though… I'm really scared._

_It's dumb. I've faced terrorists and rogue alchemists. I've faced down homunculi. I've even walked through a war-zone. I shouldn't be so freaked out about a little baby._

_It's not really the baby that scares me though._

_It's me._

_What if I mess up? What if I do something wrong? _

_I keep thinking about Ming – I wasn't her dad but I was still responsible for her in a way. And I failed her. I messed up so badly. What is something like that happens again? It was bad enough when I ruined the life of another person's child. I couldn't bare it if I ruined the life of my own._

_And besides, what do I know about being a father?_

_I can barely remember our dad. I was so young when he left. All I really have of him are the stories Mom told us and… well, your general displeasure whenever he was brought up. I know you never thought to highly of him and I never really got a chance to form my own opinion. But even if I had – it wouldn't be of any use to me now. _

_He left! I've never hated him for that. I've always believed that he must've had a good reason. But it's really frustrating now to realize that I have no example to go by for how to raise my own child. Wasn't that his job – to leave an example for us? Well the only example we got was how to leave._

_Brother, I'm glad you have Mustang now. As much as you two used to fight and argue, the simple fact that he took you in and made you his son after you got turned into a baby – that's incredible. And if there's one thing I know about Mustang it's that he is loyal to those he cares about. He's not going to leave you. I'm sure of it. _

_And maybe someday, when you have children of your own, you won't start freaking out like I am now because your dad will have been there for you to give the example you need. _

_I'm really not sure how I'm going to handle this, Brother. How will I know what to do? How will I keep myself from making the same mistakes that our father made?_

_Well… I know one thing. I won't leave. That's not happening. Not ever. I won't abandon my family. I will stay my May and our child and if I have to go somewhere for a long period of time – they'll come with me. _

_I guess maybe Dad did teach us something after all. He taught us how it feels to be left behind. So at least we know what we won't do. Even if the what to do's are still all a mess._

_-Al_

_**July 21, 1922**_

_Dear Brother,_

_You're an uncle!_

_Isn't that amazing? I guess you're only seven years old yourself right now but you have a nephew. _

_Yup! It's a boy. He's absolutely beautiful. He was born at seven thirty-nine this morning. His hair is really thin right now but I think it's gonna be light brown if it doesn't all fall out and grow back in a different color. _

_His eyes are gold – like ours, Brother. I guess that trait is really strong. I really thought he'd be born with blue eyes if they weren't already dark like May's. Most Amestrian baby's start with blue eyes and then they might change to green or hazel. But Edo's eyes are all bright in Elric gold._

_Oh right! His name. Don't worry, Brother. We didn't name him after you – not directly anyway. May wanted to name him Edward but I knew you wouldn't like that. So his name is Edmund Elric – Edo for short. _

_Anyway, Edo just finished eating. My little man figured out the nursing thing right away – most babies take a few tries. I'm gonna take him from May so that she can get some sleep. She's really tired._

_-Al_

_**August 1, 1922**_

_Dear Brother,_

_I hope Mustang took lots of pictures when you were a baby. Something hit me today, while I was watching Edo sleep – I do that a lot. He's so cute!_

_Anyway, I don't think I've ever seen a baby picture of you. Sure there are toddler pictures of both of us together. But I've never seen a picture of you when you were this little – don't get mad! Being small is sort of a compliment when you're a baby. You're supposed to be small and precious and adorable so you can't complain about it!_

_I wonder if you had any memories of me when I was a newborn. You weren't that much older but maybe you had some vague recollections. I guess those are all gone now though._

_Something about being a parent is making me all nostalgic and sentimental. I really wish you were here, Brother. I wish you could see this. He's amazing. _

_My son – my son is amazing. _

_He doesn't even do much yet. He just eats and sleeps and poops. And then he opens those big golden eyes and looks straight at me and I wonder if he knows who I am yet. I wonder if he knows I'm his Papa. _

_I shouldn't have been so worried. Being a dad… it's not that scary. It's more… awesome – yeah awesome. It's awesome. _

_-Al _


	32. 1923-1924

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Wow… Sorry for the lack of updates. Between retreat meetings and work and choir practice I just haven't been getting home in time to write anything. I was gonna write last night but I ended up with a bad tooth ache which wouldn't stop hurting long enough for me to do anything but lie around moaning. Yeah… time to see a dentist. Anyway – those are my excuses. Sorry if they suck.

We're gonna be speeding through these last few years with Al. I hope I'm getting his character alright. It's hard to show character growth and development when you're just writing letters – especially since his letters are to his older/younger brother. Al is in his twenties now (he'll be twenty-seven when Ed finds him) and it's hard to picture him that way. His letters only show his thoughts on things and (speaking as a twenty-something year old myself) he still doesn't quite feel like an adult, despite all of his trials and adventures and being married and having a kid now. On the outside, he may look and act like an adult and present himself in a very grown up manner (Al has always done that) but on the inside (and particularly when he is thinking about Ed) he is still just a boy who misses his brother. Yeah… turning twenty doesn't make us instantly start thinking like an adult or make us stop caring about the things we worried about as teenagers, and we tend to revert back into teenager-hood whenever we are with old friends, siblings, or parents (yes, I did curl up on the couch beside my daddy last night when my tooth was hurting). Al is writing to his brother and I try to reflect that in his letters.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

* * *

><p><em><strong>January 18, 1923<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Another sleepless night for me. There have been a lot of those lately. _

_Edo was actually really good about sleeping through the night early on. He would really only wake up once and then fall right back asleep while May was feeding him. _

_Now though… he's been cutting teeth and the pain keeps him up at night. He wakes up every two or three hours and takes forever to settle. By the time he finally passes out from exhaustion, I'm too awake to try and get back to sleep – especially knowing he'll be up again in a little while. _

_May and I try to take turns getting up when he starts but usually we both end up awake. May at least has an easier time falling back asleep. Once my mind gets active, I can't seem to shut it down. _

_It's weird though. Being awake at night, watching May and Edo sleeping… it reminds me of those years I spent in the armor. I must've spent hours watching you sleep every night, Brother. I think I memorized every line on your face and every hair on your head. I can still picture it so clearly._

_And I wonder, do you still sleep that way – with your mouth hanging open and your shirt pushed up to show your stomach? Does your leg sometimes hang of the side of the bed? Do you still mumble random alchemic equations while you're dreaming? Do you still have nightmares? _

_I hope not. I hope there is nothing in your life now to make you scared of falling asleep. I remember those nights – the ones you tried to stay up through just so you wouldn't have to face the terrors in your dreams. You never said that was what you were doing. You always pretended to be busy working on something and said you wanted to finish before you went to sleep. But I knew. I always knew. How could I not? You're my brother._

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>June 21, 1923<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_He said Papa! My little man is brilliant. Not even a year old and he already said his first word! And it's me! _

_Not only that but he's moving so much now – hasn't stopped since the day he figured out how crawling works. He's all over the place – usually chasing Shao May around. Poor little panda puts up with him well though. She makes an excellent baby sitter. _

_I've recently started making trips to a small town just across the border into Aerugo called Pjoca. There is a strange sickness in those parts which has left the people there suffering and near starvation because many of the men are too sick to work the fields. The Aerugonian government doesn't seem to care much for the little village and hasn't done anything to help. So I've taken it upon myself to do what I can. _

_Of course it means taking time away from my family. I usually only go for a week at a time. I've never seen this disease before so I need to do some research and come up with a good way to treat it. I can do that from home and then take what I learn back to Pjoca. Hopefully, I will find away to eradicate the sickness completely and then help the villagers get back on their feet. This is what I wanted to do after all – help people who are suffering through no fault of their own and have no way to help themselves. _

_And going away for awhile isn't so bad – not when I get to come home to my brilliant boy shouting "Papa!" May always seems to have a pie ready for me when I get home too. I love my family. I love my life. The only thing missing is you, Brother, and I'm starting to think… well, I want to finish things in Pjoca first, but when I'm done – I think it'll be time to go back to Central and finally give you these letters. You're older now and you'll be even older by the time things are finished here. I want to tell you our story and I hope to one day make our family complete again._

_Happy Solstice, Brother._

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>December 9, 1923<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I told Edo a story today – a story about you. It was just one of the ones I used to tell the kids in Xing and it's not the first time I've told him one but today he really seemed to be following my every word. I'm not sure how much of my stories he is actually able to comprehend but he likes it when I use big words like alchemy and transmutation – he's been trying to say them lately. Actually, he tries to repeat almost everything he hears and he's picking up words right and left. Seriously, this kid is a genius._

_Anyway – the story. Well, I want him to know about you and I want him to know how important you are. You're not just a character in a story. You're my brother – his uncle. So that's what I call you. Uncle Ed. _

_So there I am – re-enacting one of your crazier transmutation stunts – when Edo suddenly claps his hands in front of him and then presses them to the ground in a near perfect imitation of me imitating you. And then he says, "Unca Ed! Woosh!" _

_It was the cutest thing ever! _

_Wow, now I know how Mr. Hughes felt when he was gushing over Elicia. I'll admit – I may be going a bit overboard with the camera myself. _

_But it did make me happy to hear Edo say your name. It means he knows you – at least as an idea. And someday he'll know you for real. I can't wait until you finally get to meet him, Brother. I just know he'll love you._

_-Al_

* * *

><p><em><strong>April 7, 1924<strong>_

_Dear Edward,_

_You don't know me, although we have met before. I think I might have been trying to hurt you at the time so it's probably a good thing if you don't remember. _

_My name is May Chang Elric and I guess I'm your sister now, since I married your brother a few years ago. I'm sure you've read all of that in his letters, though. I've been watching him write those letters for years now and I thought it was about time I wrote one of my own. After all, you are my brother. _

_I know Alphonse has told you all about our son Edo. What he probably hasn't told you is why I wanted to name him that. Well, actually, I wanted to name him Edward but Alphonse said you wouldn't like that and I think Edmund suits him perfectly now anyway. _

_But I was still insistent on naming him after you in one way or another. Part of my reason was because I know how much Alphonse loves you and has always wanted to return to you. But my main reason is more personal and I wanted to tell you._

_When I was a little girl, growing up in Xing, I had one focus, one goal: find a way to protect my people. As princess of the Chang clan, it was my duty to make sure they were safe. I was trained in the arts of fighting and healing so that I would be able to take care of them. But it really was never enough. You see, Chang has always been one of the poorest clans in Xing. There really was never any hope for us to rise out of that position. And I accepted that. I hated it, but I accepted it._

_Then, one day, I started hearing stories about a brave young alchemist in Amestris – born to a small family in a small village, he defied all odds and set out to become a State Alchemist when he was twelve years old so that he could go about saving the people of his country. He didn't let his low birth status hold him back. He didn't let his missing arm and leg stop him. He kept moving forward even when things were hard and he always sought to do go. _

_Granted, I didn't know much of anything about Amestris or State Alchemists at the time, nor did I know the true reasons for your journey, as I do now. I made a lot of assumptions based on the stories I heard and painted this wonderful picture for myself. I imagined what would happen if the amazing Edward Elric came to Xing and set out to save the Chang clan. Of course, I knew that was unlikely. So my next best option was to strive to be like Edward Elric myself. I had to make myself stronger and braver and I had to set out against all odds and do whatever I needed to do to save my people. _

_You see, you inspired me. You're the reason I went to Amestris to find the secret to immortality. You're the reason I dared to hope that I could succeed – when no one else would believe it was possible._

_Of course then I met you – rude and arrogant little brat that you turned out to be – and my vision was crushed but my spirit was not. Even if you didn't live up to the legends – I wasn't going to let that stop me. _

_There was so much I didn't know back then – so much that I learned upon returning to Xing without the secret, having failed my people. The Chang Clan is gone now. I was unable to save them and, for awhile, I stopped believing in anything. It was Alphonse who gave me the strength to get up and keep going again – Alphonse and his stories about you._

_His stories – more than any of the legends I had heard before – gave me new strength and courage. His stories told me what the legends had not. He told me about a boy who was willing to sacrifice everything for his brother. You weren't some selfless hero who just went around helping people. You were a child who made a mistake and wanted to fix it. You were someone who learned and grew and kept pushing forward. You were real. You lost everything. You were like me._

_But you – you still found a way to stand on your own two feet and walk forward. For your brother. For Alphonse. And that's what gave me the courage to try again, to make a new life for myself – for Alphonse. _

_He loves so much, you know? He loves you and he loves me and he loves Edo. And I think you know what I know – how much he deserves to be loved in return. _

_I can't help but love you, Edward, my brother – for what you did for him. It's because of you that I was able to meet Alphonse, that I was able to find this strength within myself and make a new life. It all goes back to you. _

_That's why I wanted to name our son after you. Because you're the reason for all of this and, also, because I want Edo to know that no matter what happens in his life, he can always get up and keep moving forward. You're my hero, Edward, and I hope someday you'll be his too. _

_Your sister, _

_May_

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 16, 1924<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_It's been ten years now. _

_Ten years… It's hard to realize that. You know not a day goes by that I don't think about you, at least in passing. Even though I don't write very often, you're always in my thoughts. I wonder what you're doing, how you're growing, what you're learning. Are you studying alchemy, Brother? I'm sure you are. You couldn't stay away from that science even if you didn't live with the Flame Alchemist, himself. I wonder if he'll teach you that. _

_And you know, the only stories Edo wants to hear anymore are Uncle Ed stories. Every night. You're his favorite person in the world and he's never even met you. _

_Things are going well in Pjoca. I'm so close to figuring out this disease. The treatments I have in place have worked well so far – the people aren't dying from it anymore but they're still getting sick and weak. I've just got to figure this out. A little more time. _

_As soon as I'm done here… I'll come home, Brother. Ten years… ten years is already too long. I miss you and even though I know you don't remember me, I hope you'll at least give me a chance to be part of your life again. _

_-Al_


	33. 1925 - 1927

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Sorry for the long weekend with no letters. I had such a good run in January but February is kicking my butt. I walked six miles on Saturday – SIX – along with about fifty middle and high schoolers. Then we did another mile on Sunday. And we were just going, going, going all weekend long. Music, talks, small groups, large groups, prayer groups – and I'm the music leader too so I totally managed to kill my voice this weekend. I barely managed to drag myself out of bed for work this morning.

But here you go – Last set of letters.

There will be a little something posted after this but I'm not gonna tell you what it is – let you be surprised.

Then I'll be back to the main story full time, with_ IP _and _Home_ coming out whenever I get the chance.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating: **This story is rated K+

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><p><em><strong>April 7, 1925<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_Time flies too quickly. _

_Edo will be three in just a few months. _

_May and I have both been wondering if we will have another soon. I'm sure Edo would love to have a little brother or sister. And he'd make a great big brother – like you. He actually reminds me of you a lot. Maybe it's the weird mix between my temperament and May's that brings it out, but he's got that same stubborn determination to do things himself that I always saw in you. I don't think he has your temper though – not yet anyway. _

_I love it when he gets excited about something. His eyes are so big and bright – I always say he has your eyes. I know their mine too but I always think of them as yours. Maybe it's because I spent so much of my life looking into your eyes – and five years not being able to see my own in the mirror. Even when I look in the mirror now, I am surprised sometimes. I don't expect to see your eyes staring back at me. _

_I guess it's a good thing we don't look so much alike beyond our coloring. I don't know what I would do if I saw you every time I looked in the mirror. But no, your face has always been more like moms. I guess I've got dad's chin, though it's hard to tell since he had a beard in all of the pictures I ever saw. But his chin did seem square-ish – more like mine. I wonder if I should grow a beard. I could, you know? I have to shave at least once a day to keep the stubble from showing. It probably wouldn't take long to grow a decent beard. I'll have to ask May about it though. I'm not sure how she'd feel about whiskers. _

_Anyway, Edo is going to have May's chin I think – more narrow than mine. That'll probably make him look more like you actually. If his hair were lighter, I'd say he looks just like you did when we were little together. Not that I actually remember when we were this small – but a few years down the road, and we had pictures anyway. _

_-Al_

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><p><em><strong>October 29, 1925<strong>_

_Dear Edward,_

_Your brother is an idiot. I just thought I'd let you know. _

_I completely understand and support the work he is doing in Pjoca but you would think he'd have the common sense not to let himself become sick with the illness he's trying to cure. Now he's got himself quarantined away from home for the next three weeks so that the sickness can run its course. _

_I'm just glad that the treatments he already has in place will keep this from killing him. _

_You know, he's always said that you were the one who always got into dangerous situations but I'm starting to think it must've been both of you. It's an Elric thing. And if you boys have somehow passed your danger-magnet genes onto my son I will not be very happy. _

_-May_

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><p><em><strong>January 10, 1926<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I did it! I figured it out! I found the cure._

_Granted, it took getting sick with the disease myself to finally narrow it down and pinpoint the main cause of the illness. May is still mad at me for that and I'll admit it was probably the worst I've ever felt in my life – even getting shot wasn't this bad because at least that was confined to my shoulder. This was everywhere! Aches and pains – everything hurt. I couldn't keep any food down and I thought I was going to starve to death before it was all over._

_I must say – it's really hard to use alkahestry on yourself when you're suffering that much. But I did manage. Technically, May could have come out and provided the treatments but that would have put her at risk for exposure and little Edo too since, even if she found a sitter, there'd always be a possibility of her carrying it home. So I did it myself – mostly just keeping my fever down. That's the worst part – what has caused the most deaths in Pjoca. The sudden fever spikes often led to death in the past but using alkahestric treatments to keep the fevers down has saved a lot of lives._

_Anyway, I can't help but be grateful for the experience in hindsight. I used the time while I was lying awake and in pain, to focus inward and studying the workings of my own body. I was then able to pinpoint the main cause of this disease and from there – after I recovered – I was able to work out a way to eliminate it completely. I'm still working out some final details but I think I'll be able to implement this within the next few months. Once the people are cured, all that's left is to help them get back on their feet. _

_-Al_

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><p><em><strong>July 21, 1926<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_I'm pretty sure I've been replaced._

_You are now my son's favorite person in the whole world. _

_I don't mind – not really. I'm glad it's you anyway. If it were anyone else I might be furious. But I'm okay with you being my son's hero. _

_And it's funny really, considering that he's never met you._

_We celebrated Edo's fourth birthday today and we asked him if he wanted anything special. He said he wanted his Uncle Ed to come visit. I felt really bad when I had to tell him that you couldn't come. And I can't really tell him why either – not in a way he could understand anyway._

_The thing is – even when we do go back to Central - which will be soon, Brother – very soon. My treatment in Pjoca is doing the trick. Soon everyone will be healthy again. But even when we go back, it's not like we can just waltz up to your house and insert ourselves into your life. You have no idea who we are – who I am. I need to figure out how I'm going to do this still. _

_Anyway, Edo wants to know everything about you and he wants to be just like you. _

_What's Uncle Ed's favorite food? We make stew once a week now._

_What's Uncle Ed's favorite color? He only wears his red shirts._

_Can I be an alchemist like Uncle Ed? Well… it's not that I couldn't teach him, although I still blame myself for what happened with Ming. I think May really wants Edo to learn alkahestry though. Honestly, I think he could be good at either or both. He's really smart. But so far the only answer we've given him is – when you're older. I don't know how much longer that answer is going to work though. He knows you and I were both very young when we started – won't be long before he starts insisting. Maybe I can hold out until we get to Central though. It'd be nice for him to see real alchemy before he starts doing it himself._

_-Al_

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><p><em><strong>August 12, 1927<strong>_

_Dear Brother,_

_It's been a busy year – very busy. And that's the only excuse I can give for not having written at all in that time. Edo is five now and growing bigger every day. May and I are both doing well. No, we don't have another child on the way yet. _

_Most importantly though – I've finished my work in Pjoca. I'm actually on my way home from there right now. It's taken a long time but I'm finally done and I can leave them behind knowing that I've done everything I can to help them get back on their feet. The rest is up to them. _

_It's satisfying. I've accomplished something good, something right, something I think you'll be proud of me for doing. Is that weird? Even though you're younger than me now, I still think of you as my older brother and I still want your support and affirmation in the things I do. _

_You know what this means though, don't you? It means I'm coming home. _

_May and I have already talked it over. We'll spend the rest of the month packing and getting things settled in Raverk. Then we'll head to Central. Next month, Brother. I'll finally see you again. And You're twelve now – almost thirteen – same age you were when you became a State Alchemist. If that doesn't make you old enough to finally meet your younger brother and hear our crazy story, I don't know what does._

_I've figured this out. I'll go to Mustang first – meet him at headquarters and tell him where I've been and what I'd like to do. I hope he'll agree that it's time for you to learn the truth. I think he will. You're my brother, after all. He knows that. I'll let him set the pace though. I'm sure he knows you really well by now and he'll know how best to bring me into your lives without disrupting things too much. _

_I haven't really thought about what I will do it he denies my request. I guess I'm trusting him here and the old you probably would have berated me for not having a backup plan but I truly believe that Mustang did care for both of us in the past and I think he'll want to see us together again._

_My biggest worry is actually that you won't accept me. However we go about this, you will eventually be told that I am your younger brother who is somehow much older than you now. You're probably going to think I'm crazy and you might try to shut me out completely. Your parents support will be really helpful here. If they are telling you the same things – you'll believe them, won't you? I hope you'll at least hear me out. And even if you decide not to believe me – I hope you'll give me a chance to get to know you again anyway._

_I won't give up – not a chance. I want you to be part of my life again. I want my son to know his hero. And I want you to know who you were, who you are, and to become everything that you are meant to be. _

_I really miss you, Brother. Hopefully I won't have to miss you for too much longer._

_-Al_


	34. Dear Brother

**Dear Brother**

For twelve years, Alphonse stayed away to give his brother a second chance at the childhood they never had. For twelve years, Aphonse wrote his story, chronicling everything that happened so that someday he could share those moments with his brother once again. These are his letters.

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><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Here it is – the last little bit I've decided to write for _Dear Brother_. It feels really good to actually be completing a multi-chaptered work, even if this is just a part of a much larger story. I think I'll be ecstatic when I finally finish _ABNE_ and I don't think _Home_ or _IP_ will ever actually be listed as complete because I may always come up with another story to add.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone who has been following these letters – and the other stories as well. Honestly, this is the first long work I've felt motivated to continuously work on and keep expanding and I have all of you to thank for that. I honestly can't bring myself to go more than a week without writing something because I know that there are so many people waiting to read the next chapter. Even when life gets busy or my muse decides to abandon me, I push through and write something. I used to write only for myself but now I write for you guys. Your support continues to encourage and inspire me. I know I don't respond to every review. I will always try to respond if you ask a question that needs to be answered or if your review is particularly inspiring. It would take too much time away from writing to reply to each review I get. But I do read them all and I am grateful for them. Whenever I get writers-block I just look at my profile and see all of the reviews and they remind me to get my butt in gear because the people are waiting to find out what happens next. So thank you all for your continued support.

Now I'm going to let you read this last little installment. It wasn't something I planned to do from the beginning but I decided it would be fun and a good writing challenge. I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Al, and all their friends are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

**Rating:** This story is rated K+

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><p><em>February 2, 1915<em>

Ed leaned into Al's side as he opened the book and started reading the letters his brother had written for him. The first phrase surprised him and he had to look up at the date again before he understood and laughed, tilting his head back to look up into his brother's inquisitive eyes.

"You know I celebrate my birthday on January fifth now, right?"

Al smiled. "I thought it might be different. Why January fifth though?"

Ed shrugged and looked back at the letter to keep reading. "It's my adoption day."

"That makes sense."

Silence fell between them as Ed kept reading, pausing every now and then to comment on something.

"Dr. Marcoh, huh? I wondered what happened to him."

"I should have figured you'd be weak – I saw your body that time I went through the gate with Ling to get out of Gluttony's stomach."

"I don't remember anyone named Yoki." Al laughed at that.

_February 19, 1915_

Ed smiled as he read Al's descriptions of the food in Xing. He wished he could have been there to actually see his brother's reactions to all of the new smells and flavors after have been deprived of them for so long.

"Hah! I wasn't eating anything but milk at the time, Al – well formula anyway." He said out loud after reading Al's concerns after his health.

"Well I didn't know that then."

The grin faded as he kept reading. War, borders closing – Ed knew from his history classes just what happened to Xing in those days and he realized, suddenly, that his brother would have been caught up in all of that.

"The war. You were there during the war?" He sat up and looked at Al with worry in his eyes. Obviously, Al was fine now but what had he faced while all of that was going on.

Al nodded solemnly but gestured back to the letters. "Keep reading. That's not for awhile yet."

_March 7, 1915_

Al's frustrations at being weak and stuck in Xing… Ed could understand that. He remembered what it was like to be weak and bedridden after his automail surgery – both times. It was easier the second time around, having not come after a traumatic experience and with his parents there to comfort and support him. It wasn't hard to imagine what Al must've been going through during his recovery – unable to care for himself and having to rely on strangers.

It was the anger in the words that surprised him. Al wasn't one to lose his temper easily and for it to be so far gone as to have come out in the writing – the letters rough and jagged, the paper torn and pock-marked in places where the pen had come down too hard, and then those shocking words… scratched out and quickly followed up by slower, guilty strokes.

How was it that Al had managed to put so much emotion into, not just the words, but the way they were written? He leaned heavily against his brother and fought back the urge to cry as he read the guilt ridden words. He felt a strong arm tighten around his shoulder and knew that Al was reading the letter as well.

It wasn't like Al to wallow in guilt like that – that was Ed's area of expertise. And it didn't make sense. Al had no reason to feel guilty. He couldn't have done anything wrong. There was nothing wrong with feeling frustrated and saying things you don't mean. Everyone does that. But this guilt and anguish – what was he talking about? What happened? It wasn't Al's fault! It couldn't have been. It couldn't…

"So I was shot." He muttered, rubbing the place on his chest where he knew – _he knew_ – the bullet had once pierced him. The memory was still fuzzy. He wasn't sure he actually wanted to clear it up. But Al's letter was enough to confirm it.

In one sense, it was like reading a story – something that had happened to someone else and was all in the past. But Ed knew that it was real. Every word was real and this was his brother. It hurt to know that Al had gone through all of this alone – that he hadn't been able to prevent his little brother's suffering. That was his job. He was the big brother. He was supposed to take care of Al – to take on the guilt and the burden so that Al wouldn't have to. But the table had turned.

His brother gave him another squeeze and he felt a deep, shaky breath rise and fall against his back. Was Al remembering that night now? Remembering the guilt and fear? Ed didn't want him to feel like that. He placed his flesh hand on top of Al's and squeezed tightly, his own fears and confusion choking his ability to say anything.

"Keep reading, Brother. The next letter explains everything."

_March 8, 1915_

The next letter was calmer – the words neat and precise. Ed took a deep breath to calm his own racing heart. Al hadn't just sprung anything on him suddenly. He wrote it like a story – beginning, middle, and end. It was much easier to take it all in like that. Al really was good at story telling.

But he couldn't stop his heart from pounding once more when Kimblee was mentioned. This was it. This was the event that changed everything. The suspense was too much and his eyes swept over the page quickly absorbing every word.

"_Al! No!_"

His mind jumped back in time in a sudden flash – nothing distinct – a loud bang, a vision of his brother's armor flying backwards, broken into so many pieces, his own voice, Al's voice.

"_Brother!"_

_Laughter, shouts, pain._

_His knuckles cracked and bled._

_Another explosion._

_A distant train whistle._

"_I don't have time for this."_

He remembered the pressure against his chest – lying there, unable to move, bleeding, desperate.

Then nothing.

Only Al's written words revealed to him what went on beyond the gate. He could only imagine what it was like to say goodbye to his brother in those moment – to ignore the pleas and do the only thing he could – to keep his promise.

He didn't blame Al for being mad at him. That wasn't how things were supposed to happen.

But to think that he waited there, after it was all over, desperately trying to think of another way – and he did. Ed's eyes flew open wide when he realized what Al had done. It suddenly made sense. It made perfect sense.

"You gave up your alchemy… for me?"

"You would've done the same for me. Are you okay?"

"Yeah… it's just a lot to take in. It explains a lot though."

It was then that Ed noticed the gentle pressure of fingertips against his scalp, running through his hair. He looked up at Al, curiously.

"Sorry." Al said, moving his hand away with a slight blush on his cheeks, giving Ed the impression that it was a habit his brother had picked up after getting his body back – when the ability to touch and feel must've been so new and wonderful. Now it was new and wonderful again because it was them – together again.

"It's alright. Don't stop." It felt good – soothing, relaxing, easing the tension that had built while reading the letter.

"Your hair is so short."

"I was growing it out this year. Dad didn't want me to look too much like the Fullmetal Alchemist while I was on my trip, so Mom cut it before I left. Does it bother you?"

"No, it's just different. I got used to you wearing it long." Al's gentle fingers resumed their course and Ed leaned into the touch while he continued reading.

"Where's the stone now?" he asked with a small frown.

"Probably gone. I gave it to Dr. Marcoh, like I wrote there. He should have used it all up by now. I haven't actually heard from him in years so I not sure."

Ed nodded and was about to turn the page when realization dawned on him. "Dr. Marcoh is the one who healed Uncle Jean!"

"Uncle…? You mean Lieutenant Havoc?"

"Yeah! He said someone used a Philosopher's Stone to fix his legs but he never got the guys name."

"I asked Dr. Marcoh to visit Havoc specifically. It seemed like the right thing to do considering what the homunculi did to him."

_March 25, 1915_

"Hey, Al. Do you think I could learn alkahestry?"

"I'm sure you could. Do you want to?"

"Yeah. I think I do. Will you teach me?"

"Of course."

_April 17, 1915_

"A Gate for the whole world… Al this is awesome. I've never thought about it that way. You should totally write a book about this or something."

"Sure." Ed didn't notice the yawn in his brother's answer. His mind was already racing through the theory of a World Gate trying to decipher what it could mean for both alchemy and alkahestry.

_May 11, 1915_

"I'm gonna head on to bed, Brother." Al extracted himself from his place between his brother and the arm of the couch. Ed didn't respond other than leaning forward a bit to keep himself upright. His eyes were locked on the letter he was reading, a concentrated frown creasing his brow.

"Brother?" Al tried to get the twelve-year-old's attention.

"Hmm?" Ed didn't look up.

"I laid out a futon for you in Edmund's room. He's a deep sleeper so he shouldn't wake up when you go in. Don't stay up too late, okay?"

"'kay." Ed responded automatically. Al was pretty sure his brother hadn't heard a word he was saying.

He shook his head and turned to head upstairs where his wife was likely already asleep. "Goodnight, Brother."

"Goodnight… shoe-shong." Ed snorted and Al rolled his eyes but he was unable to suppress his own smile as his gaze lingered on his brother's all too familiar smirk.

_June 1, 1915_

Ed liked Master Lao a lot and was glad Al had found a mentor in Xing. But he was just a surprised as Al to read about the book on terminating life. For half a moment, he wanted to hate the old man for trying to corrupt his little brother. But as he kept reading, he realized what Lao had done and was grateful.

_June 30, 1915_

Ed didn't want his brother to be part of a war. It was in the past. It was over now. But reading about it from Al's point of view felt like going back in time. It was like these things were about to happen now and Ed actually had a say in the outcome of it all. Except he didn't. And it looked like Al was going to have to face a war after all.

_July 10, 1915_

It was odd to think of May, Al's wife, as a princess trying to lead a clan. She was certainly brave and had a strong will and he knew first hand that she could fight. But she was just one woman – girl at the time. He remembered how young she had seemed when he first met her. _To think they would put that kind of pressure on a little girl. It's one thing for two young boys to set out on their own and try to do the impossible. It's another for a whole clan to expect one girl to make decisions for all of them. Even with advisors… it's not fair._

His serious frown dissolved into amused snickers at the end of the letter though. "Sheesh, Al. You're such a sap."

_August 21, 1915_

Ed didn't want to think about the possibility of Al not coming back from Xing. He knew that Al was safe now – that no matter what was written in these letters, Al would be fine. It just seemed so real – and terrifying. And he didn't know which would have been worse – to receive those letters from a stranger and know for sure that his brother was gone or to spend his life searching for a brother who could never be found.

He'd been prepared to search – to travel the whole world looking for Al – but always with the belief that he would succeed, that Al was out there somewhere. He'd never once let himself think that Al could be dead. And he was so, so, so glad that none of Al's fears had come to pass. Al was alive. Al was here. Everything was fine.

_September 8, 1915_

_It's not fair! Why did Al have to lose someone else? Why can't things just go right for us for once? _Ed squeezed his eyes shut and turned the page. He didn't want to read anymore about Al's pain. The oath was far less heart-wrenching.

_October 16, 1915_

Ed smiled with pride when he read about Al's success with alkahestry and the boy with the broken leg. It was good. Al was good. He was wonderful. It was what Ed had always wanted for him – to be happy and successful. Al had to be loving his work as a medical alkahestrist.

_Pinapples? What?_

_November 16, 1915_

Ed blinked and flipped the page, looking for the rest of the letter. It cut off so suddenly with lots of room left on the page and the next page started a whole new letter. _What?_

_January ?, 1916_

_Are their letters missing? _There was no December letter. And the question mark in the date was confusing. Ed's breath caught when he realized what had happened – right then, right in the middle of writing a letter.

Ed bit his lip as he read about the battle and the number of people who had been lost or separated. And Al had nearly been killed too. "Damn it, Al. You need to be careful." He muttered.

_March (maybe), 1916_

That was a little mind-boggling. His little brother basically got engaged at fifteen? Ed thought maybe he should find it funny. If Al hadn't already gone to bed, he'd have probably teased him about it. As it was, Ed was mostly just bemused. Obviously it had worked out for the two of them since they were married now. Still, Ed logged the information in his mind for later teasing material. Only Al would find a way to get himself accidentally engaged.

_May 4, 1916_

Ed smiled. _A real ocean. That's so cool._ He'd seen pictures and heard stories about the sea but that was all it was to him – a story. Al had seen it though. He wished his brother was still awake so he could ask more questions about it. _I wonder if there are really sea monsters and mermaids._ For now he was just glad that Al had made it somewhere safe.

_June 21, 1916_

_So. Not. Fair. _Binan Suo sounded amazing – the university, the library, the scrolls, the very foundation of alkahestric science and Al got to see it all. Ed couldn't help but feel a little jealous as he read the letter. He was happy for Al, but how cool would it have been to see that place and spend hours studying together and just soaking in the knowledge?

But it was the Dragon's Light that made Ed pause and think. He flipped back to the letter about the World Gate and read it again. His mind was working quickly, trying to wrap his head around some new theory which didn't seem to want to solidify into something substantial. It was like his memories when they first started returning – so many bits and pieces and he knew that they made up some magnificent whole but he couldn't get them to fit together right – not yet anyway.

He wasn't even sure what he was grasping at. It was like some inkling in the back of his mind that this all fit together somehow – that it could be used. Al wrote that the Dragon's Light wasn't really useful but Ed was almost positive that there was a purpose for it. Why else would it exist? Nothing ever exists for no reason.

He eventually had to just close off that part of his brain so that he could get back to reading. He didn't have enough information yet to figure it out anyway. He'd think about it more later. Right now, he wanted to finish reading Al's letters. He'd barely made a dent in them.

_Winter, 1916_

When Ed saw the time gap and the lack of an actual date, he almost stopped himself from reading. He didn't want to know. Something bad had happened. That was the only reason Al would have left out the date.

His stomach hurt as he read about the colony and the university and everything, everyone that was lost. He was glad that Al was away when it happened but he wished… he wished something could have been done. It hurt to think about it. It wasn't fair. And for May to lose everyone… it was amazing that she could be as cheerful as she was now. But then – this was years and years ago. He supposed she must have found a way to heal and move on. She had Al and Edo now. That was something.

Ed just had to keep reminding himself as he read. _This is the past. It's all in the past. They're fine now._ But it was hard to imagine his brother shivering in a cold cave trying to write him a letter.

"You're not supposed to have nightmares, Al." he whispered into the night.

_Spring, 1917_

Ed wanted to think positively as he read Al's optimistic prediction about getting home in half a year. But he already knew it would take longer than that. He knew because Al had said he got to Central on his parents wedding day – that was March 3, 1918 – so at least a year from this letter. Ed didn't want to think about what might have caused the delay. _They made it. That's what important. Keep reading._

He turned the page.

_August, 1917_

Ed was almost relived to read about Al's broken ankle and the sickness which caused most of their delay. Those were common things – annoyances compared to fighting for their lives against enemy armies. He would tease Al later for tripping – teacher would have smacked him for not taking better note of his surroundings.

Now Al just had to get through seven more months. Seven month until March. Surely there would only be more common delay which kept them for that long.

But Ed didn't really believe his own thoughts. He already knew about the wall. That thing still stood today, although the borders were no longer closed completely. He'd read in history books about the people who were killed trying to cross the border during the war. He knew that there was no way Al and May and Dr. Marcoh were going to get out easily. He almost wished that there was a way he could go back and tell Al not to take the risk. It was too dangerous.

_Past. It's the past. Relax. Keep reading._

_September, 1917_

The length of the next letter told Ed what it was about before he actually started reading. His stomach twisted itself in a knot as he prepared for the worst.

_Just go back, Al. Don't you dare get hurt._

The next letter didn't have a date.

Al's fear became his own as he read. He tried to imagine what could have driven his optimistic brother to write such hopeless words. But he couldn't do it. It was too much. His eyes stung. He wiped the tears away and kept reading.

"You'd better promise. You're not allowed to give up, Al."

He turned the page and stopped.

He didn't even read it right away. He just stared.

It wasn't a letter. It was barely a note – a scrap of paper glued to a larger sheet. It was torn and crumpled and clearly written in a rush. The words were smudged – smeared with dirt and probably tears and blood. He could see the years-old dried blood on the corner.

He couldn't breathe. His chest tightened, constricting around his heart. And the words he read… it was too real, too close. His brother had given up. The words were final. And suddenly it wasn't enough to keep telling himself that Al was alright. He needed to see his brother.

The book was discarded on the couch as he got up and rushed upstairs towards his brother's room. He stopped just short of barging in, knowing that May would be in there as well and not wanting to intrude. But he had to see Al.

He knocked hesitantly and then he waited. He shut his eyes tight against the tears which threatened to spill from them. He choked back the sob which welled up in his throat.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and Al was there, alive and whole. Ed wasted no time in burying his face against his brother's chest. He breathed in that now familiar scent that was his brother. He wrapped himself in the comfort of his brother's warm, flesh and blood arms.

_He's fine. He's alive. I can tell him._

At some point, Al escorted him back downstairs, away from where his wife and son were still sleeping, and they sat on the couch together. Al didn't have to ask what had brought this on. He knew.

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed up with you. I thought you'd go to bed before you got that far."

His voice helped. Ed took a deep stuttering breath and tried to center himself in the present.

"It's okay, Brother. I'm alright."

Ed shook his head. "It's not that. I know you're fine. I just… I realized. If you hadn't been… I never would've gotten to tell you."

Al frowned. "Tell me what?"

Ed gulped and wiped away his tears, still sniffling. He felt foolish. It could have waited till morning. Al wasn't going anywhere. It was silly anyway. He wasn't some little kid.

But he needed to say it. It hadn't been said in far, far too long.

He reached beside him and picked up the book of letters, still open to the heart-wrenching page. He pressed his fingers over those last words and took a deep breath.

Then looking up at Al, he offered a small smile.

"I love you too, Brother."

Al's gasp was almost silent but then he was holding his brother close once more. "I know. You didn't have to say it."

Ed choked out something between a sob and a laugh. "Yeah, I did."

Al pulled back and smiled. "Why don't you read the next letter? It makes a lot more sense after that."

Ed nodded and turned the page.

_Winter, 1917_

Ed laughed through his tears at Al's enthusiastic greeting on the next page. Then he leaned heavily against Al's shoulder while he read.

"Ricochet effect…" It took Ed a second to figure it out and then, "You idiot!" He punched Al's shoulder hard but Al just laughed and tried to shush him.

"Keep it down, Brother. You'll wake May and Edo."

"You got shot!"

"I guess we're even then."

"Stop making jokes. This is serious!"

"It's not that big a deal. I'm fine, remember. Look." Al turned and pushed up his sleeve to expose the small scar on the back of his shoulder. "See, just a scar. It's not even that bad looking. It didn't hit anything vital and my arm still works just fine."

Ed scowled. "You're not supposed to get shot."

"I could say the same to you. Now are you going to keep reading or shall we argue about injuries some more. I've got a whole list of times when you shouldn't have gotten hurt while you were a State Alchemist."

Ed let out an irritated huff and turned back to the book. "It was still a stupid joke. _The ricochet affect doesn't work without the armor. _No shit."

Al just laughed.

Ed read the rest of the letter in silence. The previous letters certainly made more sense now that Al had a chance to explain what was going on. When he finished reading, he closed his eyes and offered up his own thanks for the young man who had saved his brother's life.

Then he hit Al again.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For volunteering yourself as a sacrifice. You said I could hit you for it later so I am now."

Al sighed and rubbed his arm. "I was a long time ago and we all survived. Are you really gonna hold it against me?"

"Nope!" Ed grinned. "I already hit you for it so we're even." Then he settled a serious look on his brother. "But you'd better not try anything stupid like that ever again."

Al smiled. "Yes, Brother."

They sat in silence for a few more moments and then Al stood up and stretched. "C'mon, Brother. It's late. I'm going to bed. You should too. We can talk more tomorrow"

Ed looked between Al and the book of letters, then asked, "Are there anymore nasty surprises or near death experiences in here?"

Al shook his head. "No, everything else happens here in Amestris. It's not all happy but that was the worst of it."

Ed nodded and considered the book a moment longer before flopping back on the couch and opening it up to the next letter. "I'll keep reading then."

"Brother, you need to sleep."

"I'll sleep when I'm tired. I want to get to the part where you find me in Central."

"Why do I get the feeling you plan on finishing them all tonight?"

"Because you know me too well."

"That I do. Goodnight, Brother."

"Night, Al"

_Winter, 1918?_

Al's idea of excavating Xerxes was intriguing. Ed had to redirect himself back to the letter after drifting off in his own mind, contemplating the possibilities of what could be buried beneath the sand.

But those thoughts were pushed aside completely when Al started writing about his dad. Of course, Al didn't know at the time but that didn't stop anything he said from being true. Ed didn't feel any shame in admitting it now – he had thought of the Colonel as a surrogate father, despite how the man would tease him. And he knew his dad had loved him even then – _else he never would have adopted me._

Al had always had that amazing ability to people and to see the truth behind their blustering exteriors. And he thought Al was right, too, that the Colonel had come to think of them both as sons. _Dad's gonna be thrilled that I found him._

_March 2, 1918_

The day before the wedding! Ed almost jumped up and did a dance when he read the date. That meant Al had made it home safe – no more wild foreign adventures.

No… now he just had to live the next nine years apart from his brother.

Al's excited words about reaching Amestrian soil fed Ed's own emotions for awhile and he laughed at the exclamations about gravy and showers and pillows.

But his happiness quickly faded into worry as he finally realized how harshly Al's hopes were going to be crushed. Al was thrilled – ready to go home and be a family again. But he was about to discover how much things had changed. And while it wasn't bad per say… it was still going to be hard on him.

_March 29, 1918_

The near month-long time gap between letters was almost painful. That meant Al had been lost and confused for awhile. Ed had already heard the story from Al, so reading it again wasn't a big deal but reading all of his interior thoughts and feelings about it was rough.

Al's brief debate about custody scared him briefly. The thought that he might have been taken away from his dad… but Al wouldn't do that. It was pointless to get worked up about something that didn't happen. Al was just trying to get his thoughts out and it was all scattered anyway – more scattered than Ed had ever know Al to be. This whole thing… it really shook him.

Al was dead wrong about not belonging but his other concerns sort of made sense. He still thought Al should have stayed but maybe it did work out for the best this way. After all, they were together again and it was so much easier on both of them now that Ed has his memories back.

It surprised him though, that Al had planned on coming back. Al hadn't mentioned that. He wondered how long it would have taken. If he hadn't gotten his memories back, when would Al have come? His parents had considered telling him the truth about everything when he was older. Would Al's return have spurred that revelation?

He supposed it didn't really matter now though. He had his memories and he had his brother. And Al… Al had gone on to follow his dream and help people with alkahestry. He got married and had a kid. He had a good life. So what if they'd been separated. They were together now and they'd both been happy while they were apart. They just had a lot to catch up on now. That's all.

Al was right. It didn't matter how long or how far they'd been apart. They'd always be brothers.

_July 4, 1918_

Ed couldn't say he was happy about Al's decision not to go back to Resembool. But he understood Al's reasons. They had always planned to go home together. Ed had been back a few times now without Al. But the next time, they'd be together. It wasn't really home anymore. But it was still important.

_October 17, 1918_

Ed smiled as he read about Al working as a "doctor." The job suited him well.

_February 29, 1919_

"Ugh, seriously Al… I don't want to read about this. Couldn't you have just left it with – I'm engaged?"

Ed muttered to himself and fought back a blush as he turned the page.

_November 16, 1919_

Ed read the letter twice… then a third time.

It started out alright, if a bit depressing. Then it sort of dissolved into nonsense.

"Kittens and pudding…? What the heck is he talking about?"

He turned the page, hoping for some explanation.

_November 17, 1919_

He wasn't disappointed.

Ed laughed out loud and then smothered it with his sleeve, hoping he hadn't woken anyone up as he continued to snicker.

_April 10, 1920_

_Is it just me or does twelve seem to be a turning point age? _Ed thought as he read about twelve-year-old Ming.

_October 23, 1920_

He chewed on his lip as he considered Al's frustrations as a teacher. What would he have done in that position? It didn't seem right to hold Ming back from what she wanted to learn. But driving a wedge between her and her mother wasn't right either.

_February 28, 1921_

It didn't take Ed long to figure out what Ming had done. He started dreading the truth before he'd read halfway through the letter. And then he grew angry at a girl he had never met, would never meet, for putting his brother through that pain.

_He shouldn't have had to face that again. It's not his fault. It's hers. How could she be so selfish?_

But a voice in his head argued that they'd been no different. Maybe their reasons were different but they'd done the same thing. Al was right. It could have been so much worse. Ming got it easy. She had no idea just how much worse it could have been.

_September 3, 1921_

Reading about Al's wedding jitters was a welcome relief after Ming's story. Ed let himself get fully absorbed in it and started thinking up ways to tease his brother. It wouldn't be as much fun, so long after the wedding. But it was still his job, as best man, to heckle the groom a little.

_October 7, 1921_

"Honestly… I'm glad you don't remember more than that." Ed mumbled as he read about the wedding. The details about the wedding dress were more than enough and the ceremony sounded boring. As much as he would have liked to have been at the wedding, reading about it was just lame. As for the wedding night…

"Thank you, Al." He breathed a sigh of relief for his brother's refusal to give any details. _I'm twelve. I don't need to know. And even if I was older – I don't need to know about it from my brother. I'll find out later… much later._

The pie though… the pie made him grin. Al could write about pie all he wanted.

_January 2, 1922_

Al's blustering over his impending fatherhood was cute. Ed yawned widely as he kept reading. It was really late. But he wanted to push through and finish so that they could talk about it all in the morning.

_May 9, 1922_

Ed had never doubted that Al would make a great dad someday. Al loved kids. Even when he was a kid himself he had enjoyed seeing babies or really anyone more than five years younger than him. And Al was so patient and caring. His fears were unfounded.

The mention of their birth father made Ed grit his teeth. That man had been gone for so long… Ed didn't really like to think about him. He had a real Dad now.

But Al had a point. He'd never had anyone to show him how to be a father and that just wasn't fair. Ed wasn't worried that Al wouldn't be a great dad. He could already see how good he was with Edmund. But Al shouldn't have had to be so unsure of himself.

_July 21, 1922_

He couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he read about Edmund's birth and Al's joy in the occasion. Having met the boy now, Ed knew that being an uncle was going to be great. And he was starting to get used to the name too.

_August 1, 1922_

"You stole my line, Al."

_January 18, 1923_

Ed yawned again and leaned back against the arm of the couch. Reading about sleep was making him drowsy. Of course, the time of night and the fact that he'd been traveling for most of the day had nothing to do with it. Nope, nothing at all.

_June 21, 1923_

Al was gushing – like, actually gushing about his kid. "Sheesh, Al. You're as bad as Mr. Hughes was about Elicia."

The end of the letter caught his attention with the mention of coming back to Central. "When he finishes… when will that be?" he thought out loud. "That was four years ago. He's gotta be almost done. Does that mean he was planning on coming soon?"

If that was the case, it seemed that even if this trip hadn't been successful, Ed would have seen Al in Central within one or two years. The thought cheered him. Al had been planning on coming home all this time.

_December 9, 1923_

"Well at least you admit it."

_April 7, 1924_

May's letter was a surprise. Ed read it through a few times and found himself smiling at the end. He didn't know May very well yet but he could tell that they were going to get along. It would be nice to have a sister.

_November 16, 1924_

"Just two more, Al. Well… two and a half."

_April 7, 1925_

"A beard? Really?" Ed winced at the mental image of Al with a beard. No… he just couldn't fathom it.

_October 29, 1925_

_Danger-magnet genes?_ Ed laughed at May's letter even as he mentally lectured his brother for getting himself sick. May was right – he was an idiot.

_January 10, 1926_

_Reminder to self – Beat Al up if he ever thinks about getting himself sick to find a cure again. Just because something works does not mean it is the best way to go about doing things._

Ed conveniently chose this moment to forget all of the times he had done something stupid because it happened to work – his dad might have listed an extensive list of blown up buildings and destroyed property.

_July 21, 1926_

That was a curious thought. If he hadn't gotten his memory back – what would Al's return had been like? Would he have accepted the truth? Would he have given Al a chance to be his brother again? He wanted to say yes, especially since his parents would have been backing it up. But there really was no way to know for sure.

As for Edo copying everything he did… that was a bit worrisome. Ed suddenly realized that he was going to have to set a good example for his nephew or else Al _and_ May _and_ his own parents were seriously going to start breathing down his neck for corrupting the boy.

_August 12, 1927_

It was the last page, Ed realized as he flipped it back and forth – the last letter. The date confirmed it. Al had written this letter yesterday and put it in the book just before he handed it over to he read. Ed smiled wondering what Al had written, unaware that they would encounter each other on the road the very next day.

Ed read the letter. And then he read it again.

He couldn't believe it.

No wonder Al had been so amazed.

The timing had worked out so perfectly.

Al was done. Pjoca was safe.

And Al was coming to Central in a month.

Even if Ed hadn't seen Edo at the grocery, even if he hadn't come to Raverk at all – Al would still have been home soon.

Al had never forgotten him, never abandoned him. He only left knowing that he would one day return.

Ed felt a little bad for doubting his brother at first – for assuming the worst and reacting out of anger. It probably wasn't the greeting Al had expected… or was it? One of the other letters did mention a predicted punch in the face for being gone so long.

He put the book of letters down on the coffee table and allowed his body to slide down, spreading out along the length of the couch. His mind continued to run through everything he had just read as sleep started to take over his senses.

_It's amazing how the world works… how everything comes together at just the right time. Everything flows together, in and out… like that Dragon's Pulse thing… all is one and one is all. _

_I'm glad. I'm glad Al got to meet May and get married and have Edo. It's good this way. It's good. I'm glad._

_Thanks for the letters… Brother._


End file.
